Mark has written for Cracked, the Modern Rogue, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, the Atlantic, Motherboard, the Daily Dot, and a bunch of other places that he can't remember off the top of his head. He also writes most of the nation's grocery lists.
Rory Culkin’s New Website Is An Abomination And Also Our Biggest Rival
Rory can’t be trusted.
Coat Your Dick In Wax, Just Like Ryan Gosling Does (Possibly)
It’s trending on Twitter, so we’re gonna say it’s true.
Our Vague Personality Test Will Flatter You Even More Than Other Quizzes
It’s only nine questions!
FACT CHECK: We’ve Only Killed Dozens Of People, Not Hundreds
We’re tired of the slander.
Our Staff Medium Glimpsed The Afterlife, And Honestly It’s Hot Garbage
We don’t recommend dying anytime soon.
Has Mario Kart Contributed To Climate Change?
We’re asking the hard questions—because someone has to.
You Can Buy Culkin Cheddar As Long As You Don’t Ask Where It Comes From
Just try not to think too hard about it!
Uh Oh, Duolingo Wants Us To Learn “The Speech Of The Owl God”
It’s also calling each new challenge “mandated knowledge”?
Adult Diaper Play The Eco-Friendly Way With Reusable Diapers
Adult diaper play is nothing to be ashamed of…but abusing the earth IS.
We’re Literally Begging You To Read All 27 Of These ‘Toy Story’ Facts
Please Give Us 500 Dollars For Our Seminar That’s Already Been Canceled
We will not be offering refunds.
Tackle Little Tasks So You Can Focus On The Big, Haunting Problems
Like, “What am I even doing with my life?”
We Revisited ‘Romeo And Juliet,’ And It’s Honestly Kind Of Problematic
The people of 1597 should be ashamed.
Oh No, The Dog With A Blog Pivoted To Video And Is A ‘Breed Realist’ Now
He has some deeply uncomfortable things to say about Anatolian Shepherds on YouTube.
Spanish-American War Facts, Because We Misunderstood ’90s Nostalgia
We realized our mistake far, far too late.
Conspiracy Theory: Did The Creators Of Pogs Just Want Our Money?
A shocking truth may lurk behind this beloved childhood pastime.
Sorry, but the Latest Self-Care Fad Is Letting Badgers Maul Your Genitals
Do animals put you in a better mood? Then you have to try the latest self-care trend, featuring adorable badgers! They’re cuddlier than they look!
Episode 69 – Our 69th Podcast Episode with Special Guest Matt Bennett
Like the sex number!
This Crazy Game Of Thrones Theory Will Show How Desperate We Are For Clicks
Hi, Macaulay Culkin and the Bunny Ears staff would appreciate it if you click on this Game Of Thrones cash grab article. Please and thank you.
Welcome To The Bunny Ears Sex Issue, Which Is Mostly Just Garfield Erotica
We really didn’t think this one through
Meet Our New Au Pair, The Goblin King
Finding an au pair you can trust with your child is no small task. But we’ve come across a winner, and we want to share him with you!
Weird Al And Macaulay Culkin: Live At The Largo
Macaulay Culkin and Weird Al, together at last!
Inspirational Feminist Quotes From Women Driven To Suicide By The Patriarchy
They’re so inspirational!
Underwear Brands Need To Acknowledge My Weird Penis
Are you a man who struggles to find comfortable underwear? Don’t worry; you’re not alone, and we share in your annoyance and anger.
The One About Depression And Kickboxing With Special Guest Elijah Taylor
We’re delving into the lighter side of a serious subject.
How To Survive No Martini March
Alcohol is a complicated part of modern life. It’s fun in moderation but damaging in excess, and sometimes the line between the two is blurry. It never hurts to take a break from alcohol for the sake of your physical and mental well-being. But in our busy world of Tinder dates, business lunches, and bar […]
‘I Don’t See Disease’ Is The Hottest New Health Trend!
Don’t let disease get you down. Fight through your illness with our bold new method of denying its existence! You’ll be healthy in no time!
What If Bad Things, But Not?
Everything seems awful all of the time these days, but are you sure that’s really the case? We’ll make the case that you should cheer up a bit.
Sophisticated Gifts For Kids That Are Sure To Get Them Bullied
You’ll look like a parent with impeccable modern taste, but you’ll never have to put your skills to use because your child won’t have any friends left!
We Demand The Immediate Release Of Next Summer’s Fashion Lines
We’re standing up for what’s right.
We Tried Every Soap On The Market And Are Plagued With Regret
From Goat’s Milk Lavender to Honeysuckle Harmony, they tried them all. Oh God, why?
The Quest For The Crystal! An Interactive Wellness Adventure
Oh boy, I hope I get to lick a doorknob!
Science Says Intelligent People Have Bad Habits, So I’m Clearly A Genius
I forgot to pay a parking ticket because it was buried under greasy KFC boxes and dead spiders on my desk.
Panic Healing: A New Healing Method We Invented Via Typo
It’s a lot like pranic healing, but with more panic.
Our Take On Israel/Palestine Because For Some Reason You Keep Asking
We are always happy to address questions raised by our fans, even when the issue is controversial.
From The Archives: Bunny Ears Explains How To Deal With The Vapours
A rare and delightful treat from the Bunny Ears Archive!