Mark has written for Cracked, the Modern Rogue, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, the Atlantic, Motherboard, the Daily Dot, and a bunch of other places that he can't remember off the top of his head. He also writes most of the nation's grocery lists.
We’re asking the hard questions—because someone has to.
Just try not to think too hard about it!
It’s also calling each new challenge “mandated knowledge”?
Adult diaper play is nothing to be ashamed of…but abusing the earth IS.
But why, though?
Seriously. Please.
It’s time we talked about this.
We realized our mistake far, far too late.
A shocking truth may lurk behind this beloved childhood pastime.
It’s not a chair, probably?
Do animals put you in a better mood? Then you have to try the latest self-care trend, featuring adorable badgers! They’re cuddlier than they look!
Like the sex number!
Hi, Macaulay Culkin and the Bunny Ears staff would appreciate it if you click on this Game Of Thrones cash grab article. Please and thank you.
We really didn’t think this one through
Macaulay Culkin and Weird Al, together at last!
They’re so inspirational!
Are you a man who struggles to find comfortable underwear? Don’t worry; you’re not alone, and we share in your annoyance and anger.
We’re delving into the lighter side of a serious subject.
Alcohol is a complicated part of modern life. It’s fun in moderation but damaging in excess, and sometimes the line between the two is blurry. It never hurts to take a break from alcohol for the sake of your physical and mental well-being. But in our busy world of Tinder dates, business lunches, and bar […]
Don’t let disease get you down. Fight through your illness with our bold new method of denying its existence! You’ll be healthy in no time!
Everything seems awful all of the time these days, but are you sure that’s really the case? We’ll make the case that you should cheer up a bit.
You’ll look like a parent with impeccable modern taste, but you’ll never have to put your skills to use because your child won’t have any friends left!
You can thank us later.
Hey look, it’s Denver!
We’re standing up for what’s right.
From Goat’s Milk Lavender to Honeysuckle Harmony, they tried them all. Oh God, why?
Literally.
It’s a lot like pranic healing, but with more panic.
We are always happy to address questions raised by our fans, even when the issue is controversial.
It is his right to choose what I know is best for him.
There was literally no way to prevent this.
Sometimes it feels like, no matter how large your crystal collection, no matter how many organic recipes you master, it’s simply never enough to fill the void you feel tugging at your soul.
The universe is a funny place. It may seem cold and inscrutable, but a spiritual person like me can recognize that it has a habit of punishing vices and rewarding virtues. Why, just the other day, an alcoholic acquaintance of mine was diagnosed with cirrhosis. If that wasn’t the universe trying to send him a […]
Dogs are amazing creatures. They’re intelligent, empathetic, and they care so much about their owners that, at times, they even come to resemble them. Why, just take my adorable li’l pupper! When I watch tennis on TV, he’s right there with me following the ball, and even pawing at it with his foofins! And when […]
We know you’re a discerning consumer with impeccable taste. Because you want and deserve the best, we’ve hand-selected a few popular products and given them rigorous reviews to ensure they’re worth your time and money. We’re tough critics, but we think you’ll also find us fair. Travel Acupuncture Kit We all know that acupuncture soothes […]
In the interest of full disclosure, Bunny Ears, LLC would like to announce that we have reached a $145,000 settlement with the FTC regarding our promotion of live wolf therapy. Furthermore, we have agreed to reimburse any reader who attended a live wolf therapy session hosted or endorsed by Bunny Ears and felt misled as […]
So you want to learn how to make my perfect fried rice? Of course you do. My perfect fried rice is nirvana incarnate. It’s made grown men weep. Asking someone if they want my fried rice recipe is like asking someone if they want to glimpse the face of God. Who’s going to say no? […]
There’s no denying that healing crystals have incredible power.1 But just how far does this power go? We’ve used and endorsed crystals to cure headaches, colds, and other common aliments,2 but today we’re here to tell you that, when applied correctly, crystals can do so much more.3 They can even help you overcome cancer, as […]
Hey, so, this is kind of a weird question, but do I still have to have my dick out for Harambe? I’ve had it out all this time, but is that a thing we’re all still doing? Or did we accomplish … uh, whatever it was we were trying to accomplish? It was awareness for […]
Did you know that an estimated 42.6 million Americans are on food stamps? That’s crazy, right? We often ignore the struggles of this significant segment of American society, so I decided to live on the budget of an average food stamp-recipient for one whole week. My assumption was that, by living like a poor person […]
I was like you, once. Obsessed with my online reputation, getting into pointless arguments on Twitter, refreshing my news feeds every five seconds. I was wasting my life away, one click at a time. But then I stepped away from the Internet for a while and taught myself an important lesson about what really matters […]
So you want to announce the gender of your unborn child, and you want that announcement to be as garish as possible. We totally get you. But how do you make your gender reveal party stand out amidst balloons, confetti, piñatas, and cupcakes? You have to think big — as big as the belly that’s about […]
I freed myself from the trappings of modernity to live amongst nature, and it was the healthiest decision I ever made. Here, in my simple cabin in the woods, the wilderness is my antidepressant, the herbs I grow are my medication, and my nagging cough is trivial compared to the majestic beauty that surrounds me […]
Do you long to see the world, but are stuck in a job that’s sucking the life out of you? Do you vacillate between looking at pictures of Bali and praying for the sweet release of death? I was like you once. But now instead of working to travel, I travel to work. And today, […]
A rare and delightful treat from the Bunny Ears Archive!
