As I Strong Male Ally I Completely Understand What Women Go Through
Cancer linked to death!
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…BREAKING NEWS: New Yorkers shocked to learn Staten Island isn’t part of New Jersey…
…BREAKING NEWS: Dumb Is Spelled With A ‘B’…
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…Thoughts and prayers found to be cancerous…
…God found dead in space…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Africa Is Not A Country…
…Four turtles and a rat found dead of toxic poisoning…
…The Academy Awards ‘In Memoriam’ Forgets To Mention Macaulay Culkin For The Third Year In A Row…
…Roast Beef: Lunch Meat or Middle Toe? Little Piggies Respond…
…Lindbergh baby missing…
…Hillary Clinton Still Roaming The Woods…
…AMBER ALERT: Spoon; Last seen running away with a Dish…
…Supreme Court Rules: We Rule! …
…Newest Gaming Trend: Personal Space…
…Murder Victim Speaks Out…
…Queen Kong???…
…AMBER ALERT: Amber Tamblyn…
…15 found dead in Warner Bros. Water Tower, at the Warner Movie lot…
…Cancer and Death to marry… cigarettes devastated…
…Study finds that 9 out of 10 studies are for nerds…
…Tropic of Cancer sues Caribbean Medical Board for copyright infringement…
…Colonel Sanders Found to Have Never Served in the Military…
…Local Mom Still Talking About Tupperware…
…BREAKING: Grandmother Not Actually As Proud Of You As She Says…
…Police Discover Two Bodies In Witch’s Oven…
…City Announces Subway Being Rebranded As “Uber Metro”…
…Teeth Found To Be Tongue Prison…
…RIP KOKO…
…Ophthalmologist: Glasses Are Sexy…
…Christmas Scheduled to Happen Again This Year…
…Snow Is Just Rain That Forgot To Melt…
…“Specialist” not a real designation…
…Quiz: Does He Know You’re Illiterate? …
…Forks and outlets: you decide…
…BitCoins Revealed To Be Pogs All Along…
…Man Wakes Up From 10 Year Coma, Asks, “What’s Up With Lance Armstrong?”…
Cigarettes linked to cancer!
…10 Out Of 10 Car Salesmen Agree, You Need A New Car…
…Corks Found To Only Be Holding Things Back…
… Red and Yellow Is The New Black…
…Dog’s Feet Smell Like Vacuum Cleaner Bag…
…Entertainment personality ahead in the polls…
…Scientists find that Vaping is dope AF…
…Forever 21 Turns 34 this year…
…Quiz: Do You Have A Savior Complex Or Are You Just Jesus?…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Vacuums Suck…
…Mannequins found in store window…
…Hats are cool…
…Trump Asks Media “What’s A Tariff?”…
…Psychic Predicts World Already Over…
…Medieval Times to get modern update…
…Quiz: Which 90s Murderer Are You?…
…AMBER ALERT: Tiffany Amber Thiessen…
…Secret Ingredient To Sushi Discovered: FISH…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Waldo still missing…

I Empathize With Women Who Experience Ovipositor Pain Or Whatever

Ovipositor Pain

I think the single most frustrating part of being a woman must be when men don’t take you seriously. As I was explaining to my sister the other day, this problem springs from a refusal to listen to and understand women’s issues. But as a strong male ally, I always completely get what women are going through. Why, just take the basic biological fact that, for around three days every six weeks, a woman’s uterus produces cramps, hot flashes, ovipositor pain, nosebleeds, and eye strain. This is junior high-level knowledge, yet it’s routinely dismissed by men as inconsequential or exaggerated. Well, as a man who once took a soccer ball to the testicles back in high school, I am never going to accuse women of hyperbole.

male ally

I emphasize with social issues as well. For example, I recently asked a woman out for coffee. She was on the subway, quietly reading a book and listening to music, so she struck me as reasoned and intellectual. And yet, after making it abundantly clear that I merely wanted to take her out on a date and possibly have sex with her (I respect women too much to beat around the bush), she called me a “creep” (!). Talk about street harassment! If I, as a man, can’t get through a typical day without being called something that nasty, I can only imagine what women are putting up with.

That’s also why I always let women at work make their point in full before I explain why I’m correct. That’s just common decency; we’re not going to progress anywhere as a species if we aren’t willing to listen to each other and hear opposing viewpoints.

male ally

It’s the same reason I believe it’s so important to listen to men who think we should ban abortion and who distrust women who claim to have been the victims of sexual assault. Obviously I disagree with their abhorrent views, but if women aren’t willing to listen to men’s views on women’s bodies, how will we convince those men that they’re wrong? How will women make progress without the help of men? After all, they have the invaluable support of men like me, and I’m confident that I’m making a difference.

Some might argue that instead of assuming what women need or want, men should simply ask them, let them speak their truth, and actually listen. But quite honestly, that’s some straight-up bullshit. Asking a woman how she’d like to be treated makes it clear that you think of her as a woman, and I personally strive to ignore gender distinction completely. It’s literally the least sexist thing I can do, and any reasonable, non-hysterical woman will recognize that.

Remember, men, women rely on us to draw attention to the issues they face every day, and I believe this essay about how well I understand the problems of women serves to accomplish that very goal. Because if we don’t help women, who will?

Images: Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay

 

Mark Hill
Mark Hill

Author - Scribe - Robot?

Mark has written for Cracked, the Modern Rogue, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, the Atlantic, Motherboard, the Daily Dot, and a bunch of other places that he can't remember off the top of his head. He also writes most of the nation's grocery lists.

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