Get Your Strongest Core Ever With Nonstop Crying!
Some call it “Sob Crunches” while others like myself prefer “Exer-crying”.
Relaxing Tai Chi Moves That Gently Push Your Farts Toward Your Enemies
Reduce stress with Tai Chi through a series of fluid motions that clear away negative air and gently push your farts toward your enemies.
All-Natural Cures For Depression That Are Just Bubble Baths
The concept of “self-care” has a rich and storied history. It began in mental health circles as, like, setting reminders to at least try to brush your teeth when you can’t get out of bed for two weeks. So boring! According to the top spiritual health and wellness gurus, what you really need to break […]
How To Tell Your Girlfriend You’re Just A Bunch of Cats
Hi! I’m Daniel O’Brien, author, friend, and retired rollerblader. I’ve never claimed to have all the answers and I didn’t start out writing because I wanted or expected to get into the advice business. But I’m a public-facing person who is both happy and successful and can generally navigate most situations with some degree of […]
How To Get All Those Toxic Metals Out Of Your Blood With A Magnet Cleanse
Have you been feeling sluggish lately? Are you finding it more and more difficult to keep your brunch dates, or even make it to dog yoga on time without damaging your pooch’s sleep cycle? Well the reason for your leaden behind is exactly that – lead. That’s right – as you read this, countless toxic […]
How To Look Like A French Girl, Specifically Children’s Media Sensation Madeline
The French have it all: style, class, universal healthcare, funny accents – basically everything we’re striving towards. You may only be able to dream of living above a Parisian cafe, hon-hon-hon-ing at people and not being bankrupt by medical bills, but there’s no reason you can’t look like a French fashion plait, specifically classic children’s […]
Which Christmas Tree Is Right For Your Empty, Loveless Apartment?
Deck the halls with a perfect Christmas tree, you absolutely miserable bastard.
How To Make Edible Slime In A Desperate Attempt To Connect With Your Kids
If your kid prefers squishing a disgusting substance between their fingers more than interacting with you, then congratulations, this guide is for you.
Flowy Dresses That’ll Make Wind Go, ‘Whoosh! Me Wanna See What’s Under There!’
We’ve got looks are so flirtatiously feminine that they’ll literally make the sky blast gusts of wind up your skirt like the top dog on your neighborhood’s predator watchlist.
Where Are They Now? The Relationships Of ‘Clueless’
Bunny Ears got to sit down with the relationships of Clueless to see how they’re doing now.
Save Your Marriage After You Wrecked It Following Our Marriage Advice
It’s not okay to go on vacation and have an affair. We should have known that. That’s on us. But also, you should have known not to take that advice, so that’s on you, too.
Stop Saying I Have Daddy Issues Just Because I Call Them My Dead Gary Issues
I’d like to send a message to all the men I’ve dated, am currently dating, and who moved out of state after I emotionally ruined them. That message is: One cannot have “daddy issues” when they have no daddy physically present on this planet to give provide them with said issues. When I bring up my […]
Get That Look: Grimace
Use this guide, and everywhere you go, people will think that you’re the real Grimace!
It’s Me, The Guy At This Party Who Will Definitely Try To Crack Your Back!
I know you’re just minding your own business, and as a grown up, you probably don’t want to be lifted off the ground. But let me crack your back. Please.
How To Actualize Your Healing With Wellness Therapy
Follow my easy method for actualizing your mental and/or physical healing with wellness therapy.
Signs Your Time-Traveling Husband Has A Second Family In 1886
It’s never a positive sign if your husband is suddenly snapped back to 2019 without any clothes on and a slightly sweaty sheen to him.
I’m Only Taking Parenting Advice From Killer Whales From Now On
Killer whales have dominated the mommy game lately, which is why I’m now only communicating with my children with squeaking and nose bumps.
Spice Up Your Open Relationship By Competing To Screw The Most Neighbors!
Modern love is a strange, exhausting experience.
Who You’ll Come Back To Haunt After You Die, Based On Your Sign!
Will it be Janice? Or maybe Bill Cosby?
How to Listen to Your Body’s Needs Using 6 FT. of Hose and Some Lube
Self care is important. That’s why we want you to listen to your body. No, like REALLY listen to it. Know what we’re saying?
We’ve Discovered an All-Natural Vaping Alternative Called ‘Tobacco’
This amazing new tobacco plant is all-natural and therefore must be healthy. Right?
Our Exclusive Sneak Peek at the New Frasier-Inspired Makeup Line
If you love taupe you’re going to lose your shit for this.
We Put A Naked Lady Doing Yoga On This Article So You Will Click
Look, we all know you only browse yoga articles because maybe you’ll see a nipple or something. Whatever.
What Bathroom Stall You Use Based On Your Myers-Brigg Personality Type
We dove deep to find out exactly where you should be pooping. You’re welcome!
Identity Retreats: The Best Self-Care After You’ve Witnessed A Crime
I thought my life was over when I changed my identity and was forced into hiding. But boy was I wrong
How I Used The Hinge App To Find The Smartest, Most Successful Exes
Based on my experience, these are hard rules (no exceptions) on how to catch the absolute perfect, most brilliant, driven person ever.
Build Strong Relationships With Your Coworkers By Predicting Their Deaths
Hey Janice just wanted to let you know that sweater is super cute and also cancer but you’ve got like thirty years.
I Keep Accidentally Going To Spin Classes That Turn Out To Be Cleverly Named Laundromats
I ended up leaving after they finished playing “You Spin Me Right Round (Like A Record)” by Dead Or Alive for the sixth time. Is this all they play at this place, like, constantly on loop?
I Am NOT Trying To Cook You In This Ramen Noodle Bath
No, I’m not going to cook you in this soothing ramen noodle bath, dangit. And frankly, I’m offended you would even ask that.
Upcycle Your Dead Dad’s Porn Magazines
We know you loved Dad, but we also know you love the environment more. Use this opportunity to teach everyone about the true beauty of upcycling.
How To Surreptitiously Moisturize Your Husband
Is your husband’s skin dry, cracked, or scaly? Here’s some sneaky, virtually fool-proof ways to get that man to moisturize.
Charitable Pooping Is A Thing And Allow Me To Explain
Ever feel like you’re letting your poops go to waste? Have you ever considered dropping them on the doorstep of people who may or may not need them?