Jessica Ellis is a filmmaker in LA, has written for HelloGiggles and The Toast, and can be found offering free pies on twitter at @baddestmamajama. She has a limited amount of time for your nonsense.
Teach that stupid furball to stop being such a basic bitch
Don’t even bother trying to cover up that horrible potato head
Because nothing feels as good as fitting into designer skinny jeans. Not even love.
Why is Thanksgiving so damn complicated?
She was a piece of work.
Modern guys just aren’t cutting it for me.
I’ve got stuffing in the oven, and I don’t mean the one in my kitchen!
Everyone needs a good post-divorce craft project, even if it means building a whole new family who will never desert me out of fruit.
At first, Andrea was hesitant to take our suggestion that she try aerial yoga for this article, which we respectfully acknowledged. Then she started screaming.
You better hope your colon is in order, because I’m about to blow the shit straight out of you.
I didn’t expect anyone to understand the sacrifice I was making through my hunger strike, but I really didn’t expect them to vehemently insist I keep going.
Autumn is the perfect time to tackle a project like knitting a beautiful scarf, one that could finesse your whole look if you finished it, which you won’t.
Turn your stupid fat American child into a glorious, perfectly-behaved little Madeline thanks to a strict French diet!
Your favorite color reveals both your preferences for physical and spiritual connections, but also some pretty graphic details about how you’ll snuff it.
Get ready.
Instead of candy, give your neighbors what they really want this Halloween: a comprehensive sexual education via seasonal and sensual pumpkins!
As a good-hearted, courageous princess, I totally understand that a diet may not be feasible to the working woman/peasant. I know many of you have children to rear and like, goats to tend? I’ve definitely seen goats out there, so my guess is you’re tending them— because peasant men are useless, amiright? See, we’re the […]
At Bunny Ears, we do our best to help turn new moms into supermoms. Now that you’ve survived labor and lost the baby weight, it’s time for an actual challenge! Check out these super-sick breastfeeding tricks, each one guaranteed to turn your daily milking into the intense, body-busting competitive sport you better rock if you […]
In Ancient Greece, it was known that the true hero is one who journeys to die without hesitation, but with strength and purpose. Which is why it’s actually super good news that you’re dying next week! You’ve got seven whole days to imbue your life with strength and purpose, and gain the little “hero” badge […]
Our balanced, centered Bunny Ears team knows you’ve devoted yourself to the ancient practice of yoga. Which is why we like to keep you up-to-date on the latest yoga trends (but not the lame and boring ones, like “cultural awareness”). And it’s official: Goat yoga is out. We know you invested in a handy goat […]
Ladies, we all have a magnificent mergirl inside us just waiting to burst out. (A hot one, obviously, with super nice abs and no arm fat—not at all like those weird Harry Potter ones.) And if your authentic merlass is waiting for her merdebut, we want to help! That’s why we’ve talked to doctors – […]
Here at Bunny Ears we believe in the magic of living your best life, and uncovering your most authentic self. But let’s face it, once you’re north of 27, your best self is an old, oily Ross Dress-for-Less bag, crumpled suspiciously on the middle level of that parking structure where you’re pretty sure you heard […]
Coughing directly in your child’s face is the ecological, non-toxic, and natural way to ensure they grow healthy immune systems.
Finally!
Was it Wade Duck? Or perhaps Orson Pig?
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries, to yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese!
Swimwear is no place to abandon ANY of your sisters, that’s why we’ve got the perfect swimsuits for every gal whose body fat percentage we accept as okay!
Your imperfections aren’t a good enough reason to appropriate the last art form of truly beautiful women – the no-makeup selfie.
Sometimes your pegasus is a god damn pegadick.
Use your pubes as nature intended!
The hyena ambush really sealed the deal.
Fellow spiritual siblings, if you’ve been on a vision journey over the last 12 months, you may be blissfully preparing for the season of peace and joy. Unfortunately, here on the bodily plane, it turns out that everything everywhere is now terrible. But nothing can stop the lighting of the menorah or the trimming of […]
Free-bleeding during your period is, of course, one of the most intense and respectful ways to embody our connection with Gaia. When we allow our menstrual blood to saturate our Lululemons without processed, cancer-causing tampons or pads in the way, we acknowledge ourselves as women, as complete beings, and of course, as superior to Margot […]
Oops.
And the eggs are hard boiled, so brunch is served!
They mostly told us to optimize vertical space?
He’s a sexy liar god, and that’s hot!
We checked.
Deck the halls with a perfect Christmas tree, you absolutely miserable bastard.
Because therapy is hard.
Killer whales have dominated the mommy game lately, which is why I’m now only communicating with my children with squeaking and nose bumps.
You SAY it’s your favorite season. Prove it.
It just isn’t right.
Like, brown ones, maybe?
PB&J is fall, right?
