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…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
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…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
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…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…

You Have To Try These Stuffing Recipes In Your Vagina

Mmmm, do you smell that? Sage, onion, a hint of maple syrup. That’s right, I’ve got stuffing in the oven, and I don’t mean the one in my kitchen! For 2018, Bunny Ears is helping women everywhere develop new and fulfilling Thanksgiving ideas. And today, we’ll show you how to rejuvenate your lady innards by full-filling your childmaker with fun plays on traditional turkey stuffing – just like the Pilgrims would’ve if they’d allowed women to touch their own vaginas! We think by next year, everyone will be saying “It’s just not Thanksgiving without mom’s classic stuffed vag!”

Cramberry Crush

No, we don’t mean “cranberry,” although they’re the main component of this vaginal cleanse. We definitely mean Cramberry, because after you’ve simmered your cranberries with sugar, prosecco, and grated orange peel, you’ll be cramming them directly up your magnificent cornucopia! A good pair of granny panties will help hold those suckers in. We don’t want you popping berries out like kittens in the middle of the buffet line. The acidic cleansing power of the berries will give your sheath a thorough holiday scrubbing – goodbye, any lingering DNA left by Doug From That Bar! You’ll emerge from this vaginal stuffing refreshed, slightly tart, and free from urinary tract infections.

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Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Time

stuffingThis three herb stuffing helps ward off that unavoidable temptress, Time, by sloughing off dead, wrinkly inner vagina skin. Yes, we KNOW you can’t see if that’s a problem you have, but trust us, you do. Bake a large pan of cornbread using a tablespoon each of parsley, sage, and rosemary. Allow to cool, lightly butter, then shove up your lady tunnel and proceed to rub back and forth, scrubbing the inside well. If this turns you on, hey, no one’s judging you. Expel used herb cornbread by bearing down while engaging in the traditional primal scream, “MY VAGINA IS AS YOUNG AS I BELIEVE IT TO BE.” Who cares if the neighbors overhear you?

The Yammy Yoni

stuffingYams are a traditional Thanksgiving dish, because everyone wants a vegetable that looks like a colon to remind them of where their food is going. Yams are also a powerful aphrodisiac, or at least we hope they are, because we are mad horny after trying this stimulating vagina stuffing. Bake one skin-on yam whole, then gently lubricate and press it fully into your yam-hole. As the carmelized warmth stretches your skin and softens your most tender places, we don’t blame you for thinking “I wish dicks were more yam shaped.” So do we.

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BONUS: BENWA BUTTHOLE POTATOES!

While your yam is roasting, toss a few baby potatoes in as well. Carefully, with a partner’s assistance if necessary, pop them one at a time into your back stuffer.  Relax, allowing the wrinkly, papery skin to gently chafe your nethers. Just be careful; if the pleasurable sensation causes you to clench, you’ll end up with mashed potatoes in there, and no one wants to clean that up.

Gramma’s Famous Pumpkin Piehole

stuffing

Thanksgiving in your vagina is never complete without dessert! Begin by making a custard from roasted organic pumpkin, cream, sugar, and spices. Then, lay on your back with your legs in the air and pour the mixture gently up your babymaker. Remain this way for six to seven hours, allowing the alluring spices and creamy consistency to fully absorb. If you need to get up, we recommend a heavy menstrual pad for sloshing protection – but it won’t do a thing to stop how amazing you’ll smell! We promise no one will call you “basic” if you get your pumpkin spice latte blasted up your cooter!

Images: Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pexels

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