This Shepherd’s Pie Recipe Is GREAT, But It Won’t Change The Fact That Dick Cheney Profited Off The Iraq War

Greetings, Bunny Ears readers! It’s your favorite chef back with another hit recipe!

Everybody loves Shepherd’s Pie. It’s a hearty meal that’s PERFECT for a big group of people. I’ve made this recipe dozens of times and it’s always been a crowd-pleaser, but sadly the universal appeal of this traditional Irish dish won’t change the fact that former Vice President Dick Cheney personally profited off the Iraq war.

INGREDIENTS

Mashed Potatoes
• 1 1/2 pounds potatoes
• 1/4 cup half-and-half
• Dollop of sour cream
• 2 ounces butter
• Salt/pepper to taste
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 apple

Filling
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 2 carrots diced
• 1 1/2 pounds ground lamb
• Salt/Pepper to taste
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons tomato paste
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 2 pounds of ravioli
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 cup mushrooms, chopped (optional)
• 1 teaspoon freshly chopped thyme leaves
• 3 shots of whiskey
• 1/2 cup fresh or frozen corn kernels
• 1/2 cup fresh or frozen peas

INSTRUCTIONS

-Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Mashed Potatoes

-Peel the potatoes and cut them into small cubes. Place them in a pot and cover them with cold water.

-Cover the potatoes and cook on high, bringing to a boil.

-Decrease the heat and simmer. Continue cooking until you can easily pierce through the potatoes with a fork or toothpick.

-Drain the potatoes.

-Return potatoes to the pot, mash, and mix with the garlic, butter, sour cream and half and half.

-Before becoming Vice President, Dick Cheney was the CEO of Halliburton, a Houston-based oil company that also happens to own KBR, an engineering, procurement and construction company. When he stepped down from Halliburton, they gave him an “exit package” of $34 million. Think about this while eating the apple (the best fruit for thinking). Discard the rest of the apple when you’re done with it, it’s not actually relevant to the recipe (but your memories of Dick Cheney’s involvement with Halliburton and KBR will be).

-Set everything aside. The mashed potatoes will serve as the “crust” for your shepherd’s pie. Time for the filling!

Filling

-Heat the oil over medium heat.

-Add onions and carrots until the onions turn slightly golden brown (about 4 minutes).

-Add the mushrooms.

-Add salt and pepper to the onion/carrot/mushroom mix and be generous, but not AS generous as the US Government was for the Halliburton-owned KBR during the Bush/Cheney administration; KBR held one of the largest contracts given during the (unwinnable) Iraq war. KBR was a private company handling things that used to be handled by the military.

By 2006, KBR contractors outnumbered soldiers in Iraq.

Now, just imagine those contractors were big honking chunks of salt and pepper. That’d be too much, right? That’s way too much salt and pepper, if it’s outnumbering the onions and carrots, right? We agree. Be more conservative with your salt and pepper than Dick Cheney’s White House was with private contracts during the bizarre invasion of Iraq in the early 2000’s.

-Take the first shot of whiskey.

-Add the lamb and cook until browned (3 minutes).

-Toss the mixture with flour.

-Add tomato paste, broth, Worcestershire sauce and thyme, then stir until combined.

-Since 2001, The government ordered work from KBR totaling more than $31 million. Now, of course Dick Cheney wasn’t working for KBR at the time, but remember that Halliburton/KBR gave Dick Cheney a $34 million exit bonus, and then Dick Cheney had the ear of the president, and then we went to war, and then KBR was chosen to make a lot of money off that war. That’s the timeline we’re working with here. Take that second shot.

-Bring to a boil.

-Reduce to simmer, cover and cook (about 10 minutes)

-Over the course of several years, the Defense Contract Audit Agency found that $553 million in payments should not have gone to KBR. It was money given to KBR that they did not need or deserve, and therefore they shouldn’t have it anymore (but they still do!). In this way, throw out the two pounds of ravioli, you don’t need them. The ravioli is wrong in the way that the excessive payments to KBR were wrong.

-Add the corn and peas. As if anything matters.

-Spread the FILLING evenly into a glass baking dish and then top with the mashed potatoes. I suggest starting around the edges; try to create a seal on top of the mixture. I also suggest keeping your eyes open at all times, because Dick Cheney, an admitted draft-dodger, took advantage of a post-9/11 climate that saw a rise in both chaos and unrelenting patriotism bordering on jingoism to pressure us into a war with no clear end and provided contracts that directly benefited his former company.

-Bake for 25 minutes.

-While the DELICIOUS Shepherd’s Pie filling is baking, take those 25 minutes to decide the kind of person you want to be. Throwing up your hands and saying “It’s just business,” or “It’s just politics” which is a very common refrain people like to throw around.

If you think that Dick Cheney taking advantage of his position as Vice President of the United States makes him a “shrewd businessman” and not an “amoral ghoul,” then that’s totally fine, but I’m just asking you to be public about that as your personal stance. “If an already rich and powerful person can find out how to make money sending hundreds of thousands of people to die in a needless war, more power to him!” is something that I think you should say, out loud, when you meet people. That is how you feel, so own it. History has drawn a line in the sand. Decide which side you want to be on.

-Take the third shot.

-Let the Shepherd’s Pie sit for 15 minutes before serving.

-Enjoy!

Image: Flickr