Find The Perfect Purse To Scream Into When You Fail
If you’re a busy woman, you probably deal with at least several moments a day when you have to stop and hate yourself loudly. You made a mistake, which means you aren’t perfect. Which means you’re a failure. But you can’t just scream horrible things about yourself to yourself out into the open! That could disturb other people (and you’re a people pleaser). You need a place to store those screams, which is why your handbag isn’t just an accessory, it’s a necessity. However, finding the right handbag to stow your shrieks of self-hatred can feel impossible, so we here at Bunny Ears have compiled all the best styles.
Lots Of Pockets
Not all screams are the same size. Some screams are small like “Why the hell did you say that?” Some are large like “I don’t deserve to be loved!” Having a perfect purse that has lots of pockets of varying sizes makes sorting these hateful shouts way easier. It will also streamline the task of sorting through your self-hatred at the end of the day (although it won’t make it any less painful. That part will always always be terrible).
You’ll want to make sure your perfect purse is made of sturdy material like leather, pleather, or thick, coarse cloth. The daintier the fabric, the more likely your screams of hatred will seep through the fabric. Screams like “Your Spotify list is embarrassing. Why can’t you be cool, like Hayley?!” This will not only ruin your purse, but it will definitely ruin the vibe of whatever room you’re in. It will also let everyone know how much you despise yourself, and then they’ll probably recommend you go to therapy, which will only intensify your spiral of shame. So make sure your purse is strong enough to keep your poisonous self-loathing trapped inside!
Totes With A Zip-On Top
As you go throughout your day, you’ll likely fill up your purse with so many screams that it might start to overflow (again, screams like “Why can’t you be more like Marie Kondo?” and “You’re too selfish to be a mother!”). A strong zipper will help you keep it all inside. Deep, deep inside.
So remember, it’s natural to duck into the bathroom during a crowded holiday party or work function and scream into your purse. What’s unnatural is getting a purse that isn’t big or strong enough to hold those screams. Happy shopping!
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
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