Make The Best List Of All Time Using This List Of Steps
Congratulations! You’ve decided you want to make a list. These fun organizational tools can be used in all aspects of your life. Once you start, you won’t be able to stop. If I listed all the lists you could make once you learn to make lists, it would be the longest list ever! Ready? Here we go!
Step 1: Chose the topic of your list.
From a list of your favorite head shops to a list that ranks which of your co-workers you would eat first if you got locked in a cabin at your company retreat and had to for your survival, there are endless choices. Got a ton of shit to do today? Make a list of those tasks and you won’t forget to do ‘em! Can’t decide if you should quit your job and move back to Kansas? Make a list of all the things you hate about it to put it in perspective.
Step 2: Decide where you are going to transcribe your list.
What a time to be alive! You have so many options of where to write your list. You could write it on a piece of paper, a napkin, or the back of your insurance bill you keep meaning to pay. Or type it on a document on your laptop, the notes file on your phone, or get a job at Buzzfeed. For example, I wrote my list on the hood of my boss’s car with my keys! See, with a little creativity, anything can be your workspace!
Step 3: Place the title of your list at the top of your page.
How are you going to know what list it is unless you write down the title? You don’t want to bring your Top 5 Sex Positions instead of your Ingredient List For Shepherd’s Pie to the supermarket. You’d probably get kicked out AND dinner would never get made! Your title will say it all, so put some thought into it. When I wrote “Top 10 Reasons This Job Sucks A Monkey’s Fully-Erect Dong” I think the title really drew my boss in and made her want to read more.
Step 4: Decide if you want your list to have a ranking system.
There are two types of lists. Whoa. Don’t get overwhelmed, I promise, it’s not as complicated as it sounds! It’s super easy and like my job, any simpleton could do it. You could have a general list that is in no particular order, or, a list that ranks items by priority or preference. For example, if I make a list of all the snacks my boss shoves in her mouth in a day, the order is not important. But, if the list is for the top 8 ways I’d secretly assassinate her in order of ease of accomplishing, I’d make #1 slipping clostridium botulinum into her morning latte and so on, all the way down to #8: convince her to participate a Civil War reenactment, hire a hitman to dress up as George Washington, and shoot her with a loaded Springfield Musket. Now, to really blow your brain, you could also choose to label your list as steps in order, like this VERY list you’re reading now.
Step 5: Write your list.
Let those thoughts, favorites, and fantasies flow. Your list can be as long or as short as you’d like. If you’ve decided to rank your list, be sure to number each item. Writing a list of your Top 10 Favorite Bad Good Movies and you forgot to include The Hottie & The Nottie? All good! Change the number in the title to 11 and add that cinematic treasure to the list. I’ll be sure to pack that movie because I’m about to go tell Helen where she can stick her La Dona Menagerie Fountain Pen that she’s told me a MILLION times cost $4,000, quit my POS job, and head back to the midwest where people aren’t assholes.
You’re all set. Follow this list. Cross the items off. And the result is your very own list!
Finally I can grocery shopping just like everyone else! Thank you so much. If I had any friends I’d share this on my various social media things.
Don’t worry Adam, just like masturbating, list making can be a very enjoyable solo adventure.
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