Pokémon: Pocket Monsters Or Pocket Slaves? An Exposé
We all love Pokémon; it’s a universal fact. Everyone from the youngest of kids to the oldest of professors has been swept up in the Pokémon craze since time immemorial. So who doesn’t love Pokémon? Well, for starters, the Pokémon.
Imagine this: You’re a Butterfree, floating along on a cool spring breeze. You’ve not a care in the world as you glide and soar, and then THWACKKKKKKKKKK. Suddenly, what was once blue sky and green hills is now a black void, suffocating, endless, and cold. No answers, no one to beg for your life. No way of telling your family you love them one last time. Nothingness.
After what seems like an eternity – SNAPPPPPPP – your coffin of darkness has been wrenched open by a cacophony of light, sound, and screaming, and then someone you’ve never met before is shouting your species at you and telling you to fight for your very life. DEMANDING you to fight. You were just a happy Butterfree minding your own business, and now you’re some kind of gladiator?
This is the life that wild Pokémon face every day. The risk they take by just existing. Butterfree was but a mere example of the myriad Pokémon species captured on a daily basis and forced into a life of indentured pugilism. Why is Pokémon capture and battling regarded as a sport rather than the barbaric and archaic exercise in violence and cruelty that is truly is?
Just this year alone, the Pokémon Preservation Society has added three new species to its critically endangered list: Dewgongs, Lickitungs, and Miltanks. This writer is sad to report that just six weeks ago, the last Mr. Mime outside of captivity was captured and subsequently died in battle against a Lapras on the outskirts of Viridian City.
Honestly, that’s barely skimming the surface of the outdated and frankly disgusting practices that are still standard in Pokémon training. Pokeballs are getting smaller and shoddier as labor and raw materials are being sourced overseas in the Johto region, and recent reports indicate that some Pokemon are even beginning to develop what experts have assessed as mercury poisoning due to dangerous chemicals used in the manufacturing process.
It’s also time we discussed the not nearly controversial enough subject of forced evolutions. In today’s world, when a kid gets bored with his Pichu, his parents just go down to the local PokéMart and buy enough Rare Candy to make their child its own Pikachu within the hour. And when said child bores of his Pikachu? Well, it’s another quick hop down to the mart and suddenly there’s a Raichu in the family. But what happens when Raichu is yesterday’s news? Fully evolved Pokémon are being abandoned in record numbers. I myself passed a disabled Graveler on my way to work today, begging for EXP, clearly not proud of what he’d become.
Until we as the public STOP supporting Pokémon training, capturing, and battling FULL-OUT, then this systemic culture of abuse and torment will be allowed to continue. Do not watch televised Pokémon battles, do not attend arena shows, and by all means, if you currently have any Pokémon trapped in a spherical pocket prison: SET THEM FREE.
Isn’t it time we replaced our posters glorifying the Elite Four with wanted posters of the same criminals? Don’t Pokémon deserve the same natural freedoms as you and I? To live, love, and not be captured by a stranger with a good throwing arm?
Our organization, Team Rocket, has always stood for a few simple things: Protecting the world from devastation, uniting all people within our nation, denouncing the evils of truth and love, and extending our reach to the stars above. With your charitable donation, we can help further our cause of Pokémon liberation throughout the world. Also, we need repairs on our blimp.
Thank you for your time and attention to this very important issue.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…