Brunch, Avenging My Father, And Five Other Things I’m Obsessed With
Wow, it was so sweet of Bunny Ears to let me do this little round-up of all the things I’ve been obsessed with lately! Honestly, I’m totally and completely obsessed with so many things that it was hard to narrow it down to just these seven. From dry-brushing to white nail polish to solving my father’s mysterious death, I’m a girl with a lot of obsessions. Here are just a few that I’ll share. Who knows? Maybe they’ll become your obsessions, too!
Who doesn’t love a good brunch? Specifically, I like to brunch at Tiger & Manor in Greenwhich Village. They have the best omelets, and also, I think one of the waiters there knows something he’s not telling the police about my father’s unsolved, mysterious death.
I would never be able to keep up with the mounting evidence in my father’s case without a murder board. They come in so many different colors, but mine is pink to really make the candid photos of suspects pop. I am obsessed with collecting every news article ever written about my father and connecting them to obscure world events to try and find a larger pattern at work. Murder boards really are the best way to Marie Kondo your vengeance.
He’s a real estate lawyer in Little Rock, Arkansas and a former rival of my father’s in the pursuit of a very important client. He claims to have been jogging the morning my father mysteriously drowned, even though he was a state champion swimmer in college. No one was able to corroborate Alfred’s alibi, and he was an hour late to work that day. Man, I am obsessed with him.
The Whereabouts Of Alfred Mitchum On The Day My Father Died
You know how some people are really into escape rooms? Figuring out how a man can jog for an hour in public with no one seeing him is my escape room, except instead of a bumper sticker, my prize is that I stop waking up to my father’s ghost hovering over my bed and wailing “Avenge me, offspring.”
I just love the way that a good catsuit is flattering on any body shape. It’s versatile, infinitely wearable, and it blends into any dark alleyways or parking lots I may need to hide in while I follow Alfred Mitchum. Fun fact: He goes to a secret underground gambling parlor every Friday.
I flip for a good sun tea. It’s so fun to whip up a batch during the few free moments each day when I’m able to see through my all-consuming rage. It’s so important to stay hydrated during stakeouts. The sunshine in the tea dampens the darkness in my soul!
Avenging My Father
If I had to pick just one thing off this list, I would probably say this is what I’m the most obsessed with. Yeah, I love a good brunch in my cat suit, but the melty deliciousness of a well-made omelette is nothing compared to the sweet taste of vengeance. I also really like Polly Pockets. Remember those?