Our Step By Step Guide To Shoving Your Entire Fist In Your Mouth
For years people have been whispering about the therapeutic properties of sticking your entire first in your mouth. It’s been called Mouth Fisting, and the benefits are both spiritual and physical. It’s a fun and relaxing pastime and it stretches out your jaw so you can fit even more cheeseburgers in there. I’d had a […]
All This Mom Wants For Mother’s Day Is Some Great Dad Dick And For Her Kids To STFU
This time of year most Moms are gearing up to partake in the Mother’s Day tradition of being forced to pretend uncooked pasta is a viable fashion choice. One woman is hoping her kids get the hint that all she wants is for them to shut the fuck up for a few hours and some […]
I Connected With My Deceased Father By Touching His Thermostat
He’s not a crime solving ghost, or a prophetic warning ghost. He’s just a cheap ghost.
How Do You Tell If An Object Sparks Joy Or Just Gave You An Orgasm Once?
No, literally all I have left now are vibrators and cake mix.
Transform Your Body By Getting Into This Machine And Not Asking Any Questions
Have you ever looked at your human body and thought “Ew, this lumbering carcass that encases my intellect is much too large and bothersome”? Well, with my revolutionary three-step method, you’ll see the pounds melt away in just three minutes. Many advertisers promise to give you less body quickly and with minimal effort, but no […]
We Found Carmen Sandiego, She Was Just in the Bathroom for a Really Long Time
Should we slide a magazine under the door or something?
Holiday Party Idea: Pushing Over Children At The Skating Rink
We need a fun and competitive blood sport that combines hockey with a dash of child abuse.
Beautiful Inspirational Quotes That Will Definitely Piss Off The Person You’re Directing Them At
It can be hard to express your true feelings. That’s why inspirational quotes are so great! Why think of something poignant yourself when you could just use Google? When it’s hard for me to find the words I need all I have to do is turn to Instagram where I can find exactly what I […]
Oh, I’ll Tell You How To Make These Vegan Sugar Cookies, But First You’ll Have To Read My Ridiculously Long Sugar Cookie Journey
Hey guys, I’m so glad that you came to check out my fave sugar cookie recipe! I know you probably just want to scroll down to the ingredients and get the recipe, but I’m going to make that as difficult for you as possible. Some might say I’m holding the recipe hostage. But instead of […]
Help! My Spirit Animal Is A Shark And Keeps Biting Me In The Pool
I have a serious medical/spiritual condition that people desperately need to made more aware of. Kids today are going crazy for spirit animals but they are not aware how harmful and dangerous they can be. Everyone thinks finding out your spirit animal will be fun and enlightening, but in reality, it could end with you […]
My Morning Routine: I Lick Everything In The House So It Stays Mine
When you grow up in a house with seven brothers, you learn certain habits that last a lifetime.
Mary-Kate And Ashley Olsen Movies Were Kind Of Insane: WATCH
Wait—they investigated a mystery in the Navy?
We Played ‘Dream Phone’ As Adults, And It Was Weird: WATCH ‘Rewind, Rethink’
It’s another ‘Rewind, Rethink’!
Watch: Our Brand New YouTube Series ‘Rewind, Rethink’
For everyone who loves ’90s nostalgia and weird-as-hell commercials.
Travel The World By Recapturing Those 13 Evil Ghosts You Released
You’ll wish these demon spirits escaped every year!
’90s Toys Ranked By How Long It Took Doctors To Get It Out My Nose
You won’t believe the lasting emotional trauma I got from #4!
Our Exclusive Sneak Peek at the New Frasier-Inspired Makeup Line
If you love taupe you’re going to lose your shit for this.
Build Strong Relationships With Your Coworkers By Predicting Their Deaths
Hey Janice just wanted to let you know that sweater is super cute and also cancer but you’ve got like thirty years.
5 Recipes To Impress No One Because You Don’t Need To, You’re Perfect
Minimum effort with maximum reminders that you’re great and everyone else can suck it.
Brunch, Avenging My Father, And Five Other Things I’m Obsessed With
Wow, it was so sweet of Bunny Ears to let me do this little round-up of all the things I’ve been obsessed with lately! Honestly, I’m totally and completely obsessed with so many things that it was hard to narrow it down to just these seven. From dry-brushing to white nail polish to solving my […]
7 Unbelievable Places People Have Barfed In This Dave & Buster’s
Oh gross, they barfed in this excerpt. C’mon!
Healthy Detox Shakes To Make You Shit Your Pants—Just Like The Stars!
We heard one of these recipes made Emma Stone shit in a bush once!
You’ll Never Believe How Many Slides Are In This Slideshow Of Women Holding Mugs
Hint: There’s so fucking many!
What Bunny Ears Writers Are Wishing For This Valentine’s Day
We asked our very own Bunny Ears team what they’ve always wanted from their Valentine. Pay attention! Chances are your special someone will want one of these romantic gifts too.
It Takes A Village: Why Our Staff Is Really A Small Village Of Orphans
They’re working for exposure so we started off by exposing them to the measles!
Lydia Tries It! Shutting Up About Meghan Markle For Five Minutes
Wow! This is the hardest task I’ve ever tried to tackle for Bunny Ears you guys.
Support Nature By Yelling ‘Yaaas Queen’ At Pandas That Won’t Mate
Even if the people who own the zoo keep telling you to please stop doing that.
This Mom’s New Years Resolution Is To Get Turnt The Fuck Up
This year, my goal is to get shwiggity fuckin’ shwasted, and I can’t wait to get to it!
Design A Beautiful Backyard For Your Dog To Pinch Out Its Turds In
The backyard is a place just for you and your family. It’s a private outdoor sanctuary in which to reflect and commune with nature.
Forgiveness: My Husband Won’t Let me Throw A Birthday Party For My Dog
I am strong, and I can forgive. Just like Ghandi.
I, Quarog The World Eater, Must Have Plant Milk
I know there have been a lot of questions since I, Quarog The World Eater, appeared in the space that surrounds your planet.
Can You Believe We Didn’t Make Up Titanic II?
I mean seriously, come on, Titanic II? That has us written all over it.
How To Talk To Your Kids About Skeletons Trying To Steal Your Treasure
It’s a sad truth that any normal family who keeps a large pile of gold and precious gems in their home is going to attract skeletons. It’s perfectly natural for children to be frightened of skeletons, but they need to understand that skeleton attacks are just a natural part of life. Every skeleton attack can […]
What Your Favorite Celebs Eat Daily (Hint: It’s Mostly Candles)
We all want to eat like celebs. They look so good, but they have access to all sorts of private chefs and expensive ingredients that most of us can’t afford, right? Wrong! Look no further than your local Yankee Candle to find out exactly what you need to do in order to eat like some […]
How To Dress Like A Boss When Your Boss Is A Dog Who Inherited A Fortune
Navigating the minefield of corporate America is tough for everyone, even celebrity lifestyle guest bloggers. I realized recently that I’ve gotten neither a promotion nor a raise, not even the customary 1.5% cost of living bump, in three years. Luckily, I figured out what I needed to do. I needed to start dressing like a boss. My […]