bunnyears

…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…

Get That Look: Miss Havisham

It goes without saying that Dickensian villain Miss Havisham is a style ICON. True icon-status takes commitment, and nothing says commitment like wearing the same dress for decades as it slowly decays around you. #YAS QUEEN! She’s serving up ferocious old-hag sheek and we’re going in for seconds. And here’s how you can get that lewk:

NOTICE THE DETAILS

The most crucial thing to remember is the fine print. Like she’s only wearing one shoe. Could she afford to replace that shoe? Of course! But she doesn’t replace it, and you want to know why? FASHION. She’s dedicated to her craft and you have to be, too. I don’t want to hear some shit about how your foot is cold, or how you got tetanus from stepping on a nail. I said one shoe is cool and I only want to see one goddamn shoe on your gross little foot from now on.

Dead flowers are in. Alive flowers are soooo out. The deader the better (I have Edgar Allen Poe’s high school prom boutonniere, but I’m saving it for fashion week). These are the little details that really matter. Miss Havisham gets it, and you can too.

BE BOLD

When you hear that someone is wearing a full length gown 24/7 you might think that sounds a little extra. And you know who was a little extra? A lady called MISS HAVISHAM. She’s extra as fuck and everyone loves her for it. She got dumped by one guy—one stupid guy. He’s probably the 1800s equivalent of a bowling alley assistant manager and she’s crying, “Why Brian, wwwwhhhhyyyy” for the rest of her life.

Then she got burned to death. Nothing is more extra than getting burned to death. Put yourself out there. Don’t be afraid. Be Havisham.

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ACCESSORIZE (EXCLUSIVELY WITH SPIDERS)

I’m not talking about throwing on a necklace or a bow tie or some shit. I’m talking live spiders in your hair. Nothing says, “I’m accessorizing” like spiders. Anytime you feel like an outfit needs a little pop of color, or structure, or something to give it that extra oomph, add spiders. People will take notice.

JUST BE COOL

There’s no need to run out and buy the next hot thing fresh off the runway. When someone asks Miss Havisham about her fabulous wedding dress and she says, “Oh this old thing?” it comes off as sincere, because it is! She not a slave to the latest trends and she honestly can’t be because she’s a busy lunatic. Plus, wearing the same wedding dress for decades frees up so much time for multitasking. How else could she ruin the lives of orphans and grieve her lost love while also wrangling all those spiders?

IT’S OK TO BE MATCHY MATCHY

You might think white hair, a white dress, white skin (because you haven’t been outside in twenty years) is too much. What if you get mistaken for a ghost? Ha. You mean one of the most powerful creatures on earth? Oh no you got mistaken for a super powerful ghost boo hoo how terrible for you. Own. It.

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KEEP THAT HAIR ON POINT

Sure Miss Havisham is in a deep state of depression, but she still gets up every day and gets her hair done. The clocks in her house may all be permanently stopped at twenty minutes to nine, but her hair dressers show up at 8 a.m every morning and Miss Havisham is always ready. Because she’s fierce, she’s female, she’s absolutely covered in spiders, and if you follow these tips, you can be just like her!

Images: Lionsgate, Universal-International,

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