Check Out These New Wet Seeds We’re Calling Pudding
We here at Bunny Ears know you’re going to love these wet seeds we call pudding. We aren’t totally sure what kind of seeds they are, but when you put them in liquid they swirl and bubble and goo up…just like real pudding! Or so we think. We haven’t had real pudding in so long because it’s full of poisons like sugar and dairy, so we honestly don’t really remember. But it howls and steams and sputters, right? Regardless, our all-natural, seed-based putting not only tastes good, but it acts as a highly efficient detox. And the detox happens so fast that you don’t even have time to change your pants between the first and second waves.
Even better, these seeds grow naturally in the forest. Or at least that’s where we think they came from. We know we were definitely driving through the forest and a bunch got stuck in the tracks of our SUV’s wheels. So they are most definitely (probably) organic. And the recipe is SUPER easy.
What You Need/What To Do
- 25 dates that have been fermented in tears of frustration
- A pound of honey that you have squeezed fresh from vomiting bees who have bee flu
- “Milk” from leaves. Simple tree leaves will do. It takes a long time to milk leaves, but they’re healthier than oat milk and nut milk and animal milk. We think. We’re not sure, but it’s definitely trendier than the others, so we’re all about it.
Soak the seeds in the mixture for a month/until they have fully absorbed the leaf milk and are able to crawl. Note: Don’t go near the pudding during this time for absolutely any reason. There’s a good chance the mixture—growing stronger by the day—will grab you by the ankles and drag you into its gelatinous trap. That’s how we lost one of our fall semester interns. This recipe will make about a cup of pudding.
We hope you enjoy these wet seeds we call pudding! It’s a healthy, delicious, possibly sentient snack that’s sure to fill you up,
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