Food and Recipes
You Can Buy Culkin Cheddar As Long As You Don’t Ask Where It Comes From
Just try not to think too hard about it!
Healthy Twists On Picnic Favorites Literally No One Wants You To Make
Have you tried apple slices and cinnamon?!
Our Marshmallow Diet Lets You Camp In The Woods For Weeks Without Pooping!
Marshmallows are basically nature’s intestinal glue.
Try Our Low Carb Pasta Alternative: Betty Spaghetty
It’s both delicious, nutritious, and not a choking hazard if eaten correctly.
These Trendy Salads Were Recalled But Oh God We’re Gonna Eat Them Anyway
The hottest new salad proteins are hopefully maggots, because that’s definitely what’s in this trendy salad pack we bought three weeks ago!
Savory Ice Cream Flavors Created by Some Monster
Check out our reviews of these actual savory ice cream flavors apparently made by demon aliens who want to ruin everything you love in this world.
The Best Flavored Coffees to Throw in Your Boss’s Face When You Quit
You wanna throw coffee in your boss’s face but it has to be the right kind because you are above all, professional.
4 Vegan Breakfasts That Look Delicious Even Though You Know They Aren’t!
Because brunch is expensive but tricking your friends into eating your gross food is priceless.
If You Ate Those Charcoal Ice Cream Cones You Now Have 24 Hours to Live
We were first to tell you to try charcoal ice cream cones, so let us also be the first to add some unfortunate news!
Lose 20 Friends with These 30-Minute Workouts
Want to makeover not just your body but your whole dang life?
Jackfruit Is The Vegan Alternative To Dog Meat You’ve Been Waiting For
Look, we get it. There’s no need to preach to us about how good dog meat can be, and finding a healthy, delicious, vegan alternative can be difficult. Enter jackfruit, a freaky-looking, spiky fruit native to the tropical lowlands of Southeast Asia. Its meaty texture and neutral flavor will leave you amazed that you’re not […]
5 Recipes To Impress No One Because You Don’t Need To, You’re Perfect
Minimum effort with maximum reminders that you’re great and everyone else can suck it.
Cookie Recipes That Hide The Bitter Taste Of All Those Crushed Pills
Are you tired of the bitter tasted of crushed up pills? Boy do we have something for you!
The Best Edible Recipes For Your Easy Bake Oven
Here are some wacky and nostalgic recipes for edibles baked in the fiery kiln of an Easy-Bake Oven. Users be warned: It isn’t always easy being easy baked.
Ways To Accommodate The Tree Nut Allergy You Chose to Have
If you get halfway through a cookie and find out it has pistachios, you can go ahead and finish it if the cookie is really good.
3 School Lunches Your Child’s Bully Will Love
Cut out the middleman and prep for the bully’s palette instead! It’s good to know there’s at least one person likes your cooking.
Archie Tries Goop Recipes on Her Mom: Roasted Chicken
“Has this white woman ever had chicken before?” My dad asks, staring at the chicken. “This tastes like the ghost of flavored meat,” My mom says.
Check Out These New Wet Seeds We’re Calling Pudding
And we’re collectively pretending they taste good, too!
Healthy Detox Shakes To Make You Shit Your Pants—Just Like The Stars!
We heard one of these recipes made Emma Stone shit in a bush once!
Best Pie To Celebrate The Perfect Math SAT Score You Bought Your Child
Your smart kids deserve a smart treat!
How To Not Feel Judged By Your Friends’ Sobriety
I am a human being trying to live her best life. And for me that means vodka all day every day. And I am not going to apologize for that.
You’ll Never Guess The Secret Ingredient In My Leprechaun Blood Cleanse!
Hint: It’s not Lucky Charms.
Our Recipe For Trapped Spider Mug Cake
Everyone loves mug cake! It’s fast, easy, and impossible to see what’s inside the mug once you’ve begun making it. Here’s how we happened upon this recipe.
How To Survive No Martini March
Alcohol is a complicated part of modern life. It’s fun in moderation but damaging in excess, and sometimes the line between the two is blurry. It never hurts to take a break from alcohol for the sake of your physical and mental well-being. But in our busy world of Tinder dates, business lunches, and bar […]
You’re Not Infusing Your Vinegar And We’re All Judging You For It
Why are you doing this to yourself? To all of us?
The Beginner’s Guide To Salt (Because There’s A LOT Of Options)
You probably don’t have anything meaningful to do right now anyway.
DIY Your Own Candy Hearts by Killing These Majestic Sugar Elves
All you need is a scalpel and some time.
This Plant-Based Colombian Breakfast Will Give You All-Day Energy
Thanks to a single plant, I now have so much fucking all-day energy that I’ve been going non-stop for the last 18 hours and am currently writing this at 4:15 in the morning!
Easy Diet Changes To Make You Healthier, Happier, and Afraid To Eat
It’s not hard to make these small changes in your life, it just takes a little planning and a TON of constant anxiety.
Creatures Ethical To Milk Because We’re Not Even Sure They’re Animals
Spider Milk? Wait no spiders do silk. Right. Ignore this. Pretend we never suggested it.
Sugar-Free Christmas Cookies Less Disappointing Than Your Incel Son
Nothing sucks the air out of a holiday gathering like sugar-free baked goods and the son with a face only a mother would want to disown.
Maybe It’s The Meth Talking, But These Detox Tips Make Me Feel Like A God
Fuck! Are you feeling this?