Luis is a columnist for Cracked.com and an astral projection of an unfathomable being from across the universe.
Please be honest.
It’s troubling, yet riveting.
It’s also incredibly painful.
It sucks but it’s great.
They have zero regard for arena etiquette.
‘It’s-a me! The head of the IOC here to strip you of your medals.’
And I suck.
Who knew Yoda could kickflip so well?
They make us feel seen.
Like how to set up that Roth IRA.
I’m sure of it.
I wouldn’t recommend it.
I’m going to kick their ass.
We need to turn the car around.
I’m definitely probably not alone in this, right?
Not cool.
Your failure is written in the stars.
It hurts so good!
I truly don’t know how much clearer I can be on this.
And it can work for you, too!
You can get through this.
But have you?
You probably thought you’d be Rey. Or maybe Han?
Yes, my gyoza IS pizza-themed!
Anything’s better than spending another minute with your family.
It’s so insulting.
This isn’t easy.
Don’t you just hate it when we start going crazy when you’re without your phone for a week after a mass assailant robs you of it at gunpoint? Me too.
Get it right!
Yes, your eyes WILL fly out of your head and dangle on your cheeks. But you’ll have confronted your fears in the process.
Mack is joined by Mike Stoklasa, Rich Evans, and Jay Bauman.
X-Box controllers are expensive. Try throwing these unimportant things instead.
The secret to rebuilding my confidence was admitting that I needed help – the help of a trusted therapist and of a pair of 5-foot-tall circus stilts.
When Bunny Ears used a stock image of my face in an article about micropenises, I thought my life was over. It was only just beginning.
Everyone told me a male game developer shouldn’t try to make a feminist video game about the gender pay gap. But I did it anyway.
And he’s gonna be a mighty king!
Look, we get it. There’s no need to preach to us about how good dog meat can be, and finding a healthy, delicious, vegan alternative can be difficult. Enter jackfruit, a freaky-looking, spiky fruit native to the tropical lowlands of Southeast Asia. Its meaty texture and neutral flavor will leave you amazed that you’re not […]
I thought my life was over when I changed my identity and was forced into hiding. But boy was I wrong
Ever feel like you’re letting your poops go to waste? Have you ever considered dropping them on the doorstep of people who may or may not need them?
Cut out the middleman and prep for the bully’s palette instead! It’s good to know there’s at least one person likes your cooking.
There are so many substances you can use to masturbate. All that I ask is that you don’t use my luxurious moisturizer. It’s not too much to ask, is it?
It began as a lazy reason to create some more fine Internet Content. It ended with a morbid obession that brought us to the brink of perpetual moistness.
There’s a valid reason. Kinda.
Why are you doing this to yourself? To all of us?
I already know the answer due to my years of experience as a dream interpreter, but have you tried watching something other than porn as you fall asleep?
