Does she ever pretend to choke you?
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
We Just Tried Western Medicine, And Holy Shit Is It Effective!
Have you guys ever tried antibiotics?!
Poop Doulas And 4 Other Types Of Doulas You Didn’t Know You Need
A good doula is duty-bound to help you do things your way!
I’m Totally Okay Being Trapped Under This Weighted Blanket
Getting crushed to death never felt so safe.
Oh No, The 2019 Must-Have Look Is The Movie Hackers
HACK THE PLANET! HACK THE PLANNNNEEEEET!
I Won’t Breastfeed My Child, And If That Makes Me A Bad Dad, So Be It
I don’t care what you think of me. I’m not going to do it.
Our Restaurant’s New Insect Menu Has Nothing To Do With The Recent Fumigation
The two events are purely coincidental.
Why Can’t My Son Be My Emotional Support Animal? He’s On A Leash
He’s just as untamable as any beast.
Stop Screaming At Your Kids And Let Me Do It For You!
If you’re comfortable with me telling your children to eat shit but not telling them to get fucked, I need to know that beforehand.
Recipes For Standing In Front Of The Fridge In Your Underwear At 2AM
Not to be confused for 3AM recipes.
