Your September Horoscope!
…San Francisco and Oakland make up; will become one city…
…City Announces Subway Being Rebranded As “Uber Metro”…
…Local Mom Still Talking About Tupperware…
…Mannequins found in store window…
…God found dead in space…
…Tropic of Cancer sues Caribbean Medical Board for copyright infringement…
…AMBER ALERT: Amber Tamblyn…
…“Specialist” not a real designation…
…BREAKING: Grandmother Not Actually As Proud Of You As She Says…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Vacuums Suck…
…Murder Victim Speaks Out…
…Quiz: Do You Have A Savior Complex Or Are You Just Jesus?…
…Corks Found To Only Be Holding Things Back…
…Cancer and Death to marry… cigarettes devastated…
… Red and Yellow Is The New Black…
…Supreme Court Rules: We Rule! …
…Newest Gaming Trend: Personal Space…
…BitCoins Revealed To Be Pogs All Along…
…10 Out Of 10 Car Salesmen Agree, You Need A New Car…
…Hats are cool…
…Dog’s Feet Smell Like Vacuum Cleaner Bag…
…Forks and outlets: you decide…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Africa Is Not A Country…
…Teeth Found To Be Tongue Prison…
…Man Wakes Up From 10 Year Coma, Asks, “What’s Up With Lance Armstrong?”…
…Snow Is Just Rain That Forgot To Melt…
…15 found dead in Warner Bros. Water Tower, at the Warner Movie lot…
…Medieval Times to get modern update…
…AMBER ALERT: Spoon; Last seen running away with a Dish…
…BREAKING NEWS: New Yorkers shocked to learn Staten Island isn’t part of New Jersey…
…Quiz: Does He Know You’re Illiterate? …
…Queen Kong???…
…Thoughts and prayers found to be cancerous…
…Roast Beef: Lunch Meat or Middle Toe? Little Piggies Respond…
…Secret Ingredient To Sushi Discovered: FISH…
…Lindbergh baby missing…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Ophthalmologist: Glasses Are Sexy…
…Scientists find that Vaping is dope AF…
…Colonel Sanders Found to Have Never Served in the Military…
…AMBER ALERT: Tiffany Amber Thiessen…
…Quiz: Which 90s Murderer Are You?…
…Trump Asks Media “What’s A Tariff?”…
…Forever 21 Turns 34 this year…
…BREAKING NEWS: Dumb Is Spelled With A ‘B’…
…Study finds that 9 out of 10 studies are for nerds…
…Psychic Predicts World Already Over…
…Police Discover Two Bodies In Witch’s Oven…
Cancer linked to death!
…Waldo still missing…
…Four turtles and a rat found dead of toxic poisoning…
…Hillary Clinton Still Roaming The Woods…
…The Academy Awards ‘In Memoriam’ Forgets To Mention Macaulay Culkin For The Third Year In A Row…
Cigarettes linked to cancer!
…Christmas Scheduled to Happen Again This Year…
…Entertainment personality ahead in the polls…
…RIP KOKO…
…”Peacoat” not what name suggests…

Your September Horoscope!

september horoscope

There are no more stars. You look up into the night and all you see is an inky void. It is calming somehow. Refreshing. Clear.

 

You can remember a time when there were stars, little dots of light in your life that gave meaning to the things you did. A time when you knew happiness, and were content with mediocrity.

 

All of that is gone now. You look around hoping for a sign, anything to give you assurance that you’ve made the right decisions, but you know you haven’t. You’ve wasted your potential and now you are regretting every step that brought you to this moment.

 

There are no answers for you here. There is nothing that can help you.

 

The stars are gone.

 

 

 

Except for Virgo. You will soon see a great financial change in your life, for the better! Your lucky numbers this month are 7, 19, 51, and 94! Have a great day everyone!

-Craig

Craig, the Intern
Craig, the Intern

Intern

I'm the intern here at Bunny Ears. Say hi!

2 Comments
    1. You will do well enough on your exam, but your crush is going to go on vacation, where they will meet their soulmate. Good news for you dude, they have no idea and completely miss their one chance at true happiness!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.