Horoscopes

Your September Horoscope!

Free Monthly Horoscope As Interpreted In Bob Ross Sayings

Guidance. We all seek it, but few can look high beyond the clouds to truly comprehend which direction to go. Luckily, horoscopes are a quick and easy way to attain clarity. So eyes to the fluffy, clouded skies and saddle up as we channel one of our oldest dating apps, the Ouija board, to connect […]

by Miss CheeVious

How To Cook The Perfect Salmon Depending On Your Zodiac Sign

The Zodiac guides us through challenges in life. The stars are as wise as they are numerous, and strongly advise which recipes you should use to prepare salmon! Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) Those who fall under the sign of Aries are teeming with chaotic energy. Mars, god of war, compels you to seek […]

by Katie Goldin

How To Dress So That Everyone Knows Your Chinese Zodiac Animal

Finally!

by Natasha King

The Horrible Thing That’s Going To Happen To You This Month — Based On Your Sign

Sorry…

by Toria Sheffield

Free Monthly Horoscopes – March Edition

Hello and welcome to your monthly Horoscope Guide! We know you have a lot of options when it comes to finding out your future, and we are thrilled and humbled that you’ve chosen us to be the copilots on your astrological journey through the stars. Aquarius: The Water-Bearer! Your colors are light-blue and silver. You […]

by Daniel O’Brien

Hogwarts Sex: Where You’ll Get It On, According To The Zodiac

Don’t tell us you’ve never thought about it.

by Zanandi Botes

Who You’ll Come Back To Haunt After You Die, Based On Your Sign!

Will it be Janice? Or maybe Bill Cosby?

by Toria Sheffield

Find Out Which ‘Mambo No. 5’ Girl You Are Based On Your Sign!

A little bit of Monica in retrograde!

by Kevin Anderson

Who You’d Fuck In McDonaldland Based On Your Star Sign

Grimace? Or perhaps Mayor McCheese?

by Lydia Bugg

How Each Zodiac Sign Will Ruin Your Carefully Planned Art Heist

Your failure is written in the stars.

by Luis Prada

Who You’ll Bang In The Animaniacs Universe According To Your Sign

Minerva Mink? Or perhaps the Godpigeon?

by Zanandi Botes

What You’d Shoplift From Lowe’s Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Will it be garden soil? Or perhaps a mailbox?

by Anabel and Genevieve Kane

What You’ll Choke To Death On Based On Your Star Sign

The other alternative is to just keep your big mouth shut and starve to death. #horoscopes

by Dyana Goldman

Here’s What ‘Based On Your Sign’ Article You Should Read Based On Your Sign

Hint: You’re not going to want to go anywhere near a What Kind of Fast Food are You Based on Your Zodiac article if you’re a Pisces!

by Heidi Lux

Why Your Kids Suck — Based On Their Star Sign (And Not Your Parenting)

It’s not your fault

by Lydia Bugg

What’s Your Fursona Based On Your Star Sign?

Just don’t call it your spirit animal, okay? That’s problematic.

by Rani Baker

Horoscope: Which Type Of Flu Will Kill You When The Pandemic Hits?

With overpopulation, global travel, and not one, but several strains of drug-resistant superbugs already taking hold, it’s safe to say that you and everyone you know will die in a pandemic (soon). And if modern history has taught us anything, this pandemic will likely come in the form of classic influenza. But will you die of […]

by Toria Sheffield