Get Your Boyfriend To A Key Party By Telling Him It’s A Superstar Shakeup

Babe … babe. We need to talk. You know how we agreed to always be honest about our wishes, our wants, our expectations in our relationship and life, and you know … the bedroom? Well, I have this idea, see. And I know we talked about it before, like, in theory, but what if we, um, traded things up for a night. There’s this key party and it’s very exclusive, invite only … Ok, I can see I’m not fully getting through here. I’m talking about swinging. Only that sounds so 1970, so we’ll go with uhh, Superstar Shakeup!

You see, sometimes things can get a little stale and it doesn’t mean we love each other any less, it’s just when you’ve seen the same tag team match over and over, sometimes for both the audience AND the wrestlers, we need a little, er, draft. To freshen things up, you know? To remember why we love the wrestlers to begin with.

This Superstar Shakeup key party isn’t just for me; it’s for us. Maybe we’ll both learn some new moves, tagging with someone (or someones) else for the night. I’ll appreciate you Pump Handle Slamming from across the room as someone is giving me a SmackDown There (Down where? You know). Our emotional connection is strong enough to handle this. We owe it to ourselves to explore new physical possibilities.

Do you remember after WrestleMania when I dressed up as Becky Lynch, including those goggles? I do, because I’m still washing orange Kool-Aid out of my hair. That night was for you and it was fantastic. But now I need something for me. And I don’t want to do this Superstar Shakeup key party without you. Well, I want to physically do it without you but, like, I want you to be there also doing it without me.

Hm, maybe instead of tag teams maybe we should think of this as a Battle Royal. We’ll be back to normal AFTER the Main Event but during the big night, it’s every man and woman for themselves, with occasional support from their partner. I mean, we’re not talking full heel turn here. Just one night of sweaty, oily, limber exhilaration.

I don’t want you to agree to anything you’re uncomfortable with but sometimes we just need to take that leap from the top rope, you know? This is our Shooting Star press, our Frog Splash, our Swanton Bomb into a deeper emotional connection and sexual satisfaction.

This Superstar Shake Up is for our love, our happily ever after. And I don’t want to go into the draft without you.

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