Jessica Ellis is a filmmaker in LA, has written for HelloGiggles and The Toast, and can be found offering free pies on twitter at @baddestmamajama. She has a limited amount of time for your nonsense.
It’s Not Too Late To Start Knitting A Fall Scarf You Will Never Finish
Autumn is the perfect time to tackle a project like knitting a beautiful scarf, one that could finesse your whole look if you finished it, which you won’t.
The French Model: Teaching Your Child to Eat Like A Perfect Little Asshole
Turn your stupid fat American child into a glorious, perfectly-behaved little Madeline thanks to a strict French diet!
What Your Favorite Color Says About The Day You’ll Die
Your favorite color reveals both your preferences for physical and spiritual connections, but also some pretty graphic details about how you’ll snuff it.
Which Fight You’ll Have With Your Mom This Thanksgiving—Based On Your Sign!
Sex-Positive Pumpkin Carving Ideas That Will Arouse Your Whole Neighborhood
Instead of candy, give your neighbors what they really want this Halloween: a comprehensive sexual education via seasonal and sensual pumpkins!
I Tried The Sleeping Beauty Diet And I’m Gonna Eat My Prince When He Show Up
As a good-hearted, courageous princess, I totally understand that a diet may not be feasible to the working woman/peasant. I know many of you have children to rear and like, goats to tend? I’ve definitely seen goats out there, so my guess is you’re tending them— because peasant men are useless, amiright? See, we’re the […]