The Newest Spring Color Is Gray Because All The Plants Have Died
Ah, do you smell that? It’s the sweet, springtime aroma of the barren wasteland where springtime used to exist! A new season of blight and struggle is dawning, thanks to just 150 years of rampant chemical and fossil fuel use. Since we’re managing to hold the fragments of society together, at least until the weevils eat the last grain stores, it’s important to make sure we stick to our traditions. That’s why we’ve picked our favorite color of the spring: gray!
Gray Is Bae
Gray may not be the first color you think of when it comes to spring because you were likely born in a time before we killed all the plants, but government rationing has prevented us from using color photographs, so if it makes you feel better, you can imagine we picked a playful pastel pink or soft, grassy green. Go ahead and imagine you’re sitting down to a full dinner and having a hot bath later while you’re off in fantasy land.
But just because the existence of color has been drained off the Earth by the death of most lifeforms doesn’t mean that grey can’t be a fun, jazzy color! Look at these amazing styles that are super in this spring, or what’s left of it.
Things That Are Gray
Yep, pigeons! Pigeons are totally mostly gray, and although the radiation spills have mutated them into giant murder birds with 7-ft. wingspans, we can’t argue that that’s not kinda cool.
Thanks to constant hurricanes and clouds of volcanic smog, we’ve taken a lot of inspiration from the sky in our pick for best color of the season.
L.A. is certainly a hot spot of fashion, even though the majority of it has now burned down in relentless wildfires.
Ways To Use Gray In Decor
Incorporating gray into your household decor is easy on any budget. Because all of the plants and animals that make dye have disappeared in the mass extinction and water is rationed, pretty much everything you own will soon be a monochromatic palette of grey, but don’t be afraid to play with coordinating tones! Go ahead and mix a little bit of your fire pit ash in with lighter grey tones like that emaciated squirrel you just skinned. Wouldn’t that make a fabulously luxe pillow?
One of our favorite things about this versatile color is the way it can make a small space feel expansive and airy. Sure, you’re living in a tent in an abandoned grain silo, praying the next flood doesn’t drown you, but the proper application of a slate-grey sheet can make it feel almost like you could stand all the way up in there.
We can’t wait to reveal our color palette of the summer in two months if the cholera don’t get us first!
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…