bunnyears

…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…

Why Does Everyone Keep Telling Me My Hunger Strike Is A Great Idea And I Should Stick To It?

Hunger strikes are an amazing tool to help bring recognition to important causes through personal suffering. They require dedication, commitment, and an earnest belief in social justice, even at the potential expense of your own life. Which is why it’s a little weird, maybe, that people keep telling me mine is such a great idea.

When I announced my hunger strike in the usual ways—Instagram stories, 30-part tweetstorm, and via an office-wide conference call—I was expecting the typical uneducated pushback. My cause of ending pony rides at parks is undoubtedly just, but I didn’t expect many people to understand. “That’s so extreme,” I was waiting to hear. “That’s so incredibly courageous, but what if you die?” I was ready for those reactions. I even had a four-page poem already prepared for when someone inevitably asked “Are pony rides that bad?” (It starts: Beasts of Burden/The burden IN their eyes/Is their Subjugation worth it/for a birthday Surprise?)

hunger

So it was kinda unsettling right from the beginning when most of my friends responded with incredible support. “I think this is the best idea you’ve ever had,” Ashley in marketing said. I have to admit, I was initially flattered when even my ex chimed in on my FB post and said “This is the bravest thing I’ve ever heard, see it through to the end.”

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Of course, I’m really grateful for all the support. My boss even moved my desk out of the co-working space and into a private storage room because he said he didn’t want me to be disturbed by other people’s food during my hunger strike. That seemed really considerate, although a little odd that he seemed like he’d been waiting to make that suggestion for a long time?

After five days on my hunger strike, the weirdness seemed to increase. I started to have trouble climbing the stairs in my apartment building, but my neighbors kept shoving me out of the elevator and telling me they didn’t want to tempt me with comfy living when there are ponies out there suffering. Of course, they’re right, but I was carrying a really heavy box of horseshoes for my dead ponies art installation, and it took me over an hour to get up three flights.

hunger

Of course, with all the weight loss, I’d expected the girls at my office to be impressed, and I guess they are. Hayley said she’d never seen me looking so healthy, and Peridot said that the bone structure of my calves is really evident now. They both urged me to stick to the hunger strike, because the ponies need me. They do, right? The ponies definitely still need me?

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As you can tell, it’s hard for me to keep faith in my cause. Partially, it’s because I can no longer really stand up due to the trembling. Yet there’s still something I can’t put my finger on that’s so weird about getting overwhelming support. I talked to my dad, despite our feud over his use of non-biodegradable sporks, and he really turned me around. “Jessica,” he said, “if I have to hear about one more pony in pain from walking in a circle, I swear to God, I’ll join you in reaching your ultimate goal.” It’s amazing to know I’ve inspired even a moderate Democrat to fight for my cause!

hunger

After nine days of hunger, it’s getting hard to endure. I dream of the ponies running freely, but it no longer nourishes me. I’m so lucky I have the enduring support of such a huge community, though. Although my vision is getting blurry, I was able to squint and read an inspiring reply from a stranger on Twitter that says “Almost to the end, can’t wait for the big finish!”

I guess I can’t disappoint them now!

Images: PexelsPixabayPixabayPixabay

 

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