Brian Boone writes comedy and trivia on the internet and in books, which is like the old timey internet. He shamed his family by losing on Jeopardy.
Move over, Apple.
It’s literally all we can hear, taste, and smell.
The days are getting colder, and that means Father Depression is on his way.
We’ve all been there.
It’s a non-ideal situation.
Reviving yet another classic!
“Fall is but a living nightmare for an apple-hands-man.”
It’s an ongoing process.
Is it coming from the furniture? The vents?
#5 is gonna burn so hard!
We took a look back in honor of Hell in a Cell 2019.
How could we forget?
Because keeping the spark alive takes work.
Finally.
The definitive list.
Save yourself some money (and a visit with your “guy”) by making your own Adderall at home. Now FOCUS.
We investigate.
Note: We only serve cheese pizza.
The Berserker Blothar? Or perhaps Bonesnapper?
Remember?
Because everybody has one. Right?
It’s the movie we’ve all been begging for.
Have you heard of the ‘Reverse Heimlich’?
Hint: It involves bears.
Your cousin lied when he said he shot the dog in Duck Hunt. Because if he had, he’d be scarred for life.
What ho, assorted plutocrats, barons of industry, and proper gentlemen!
Yasss!
If you have a problem with that, you can get out of my life.
Don’t go, Jason Waterfalls!
His blood is magic.
Mmmm, plastic!
Take the blue pill, take the red pill, take all the pills from Dr. Mario. (Except for the red-blue one.)
Yikes.
“It’s-A Me! Mario!” and other classics.
Hey, remember Collective Soul, that mildly agreeable rock band from the ’90s? It’s weird if you do, because as it turns out, it never existed.
Finally, we know which Culkin is best and which is worst. And who has more authority to speak on the subject than Macaulay Culkin himself?
I don’t know why everybody called my uncles “Bad Dudes,” because they were good dudes. More than good. Probably the best people I’ll ever know.
Want to look hot? Get a pair of glasses They’ll make you look hot. Especially if you’re already hot.
Remember the military guy from the ’80s heyday of the WWF? He’s radically different out of the ring…emphasis on “radical.”
Nearly 30 years later, the subject of the Spin Doctors’ memorable hit gives HER side of the story.
If you’re gonna sacrifice a virgin, you better sacrifice a virgin the right way.
One taste of that needle now, and they’ll be hooked for life.
Show your tree how much you love it…physically.
The ocean is terrible and full of scary fish and fish-monsters. Why do you want to go there? What’s wrong with you?
Stop spitting them into the garbage and do something useful with those beetles that emerge from your mouth for inscrutable reasons.
