bunnyears

…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…

Creative Solutions To Male-Pattern Baldness

male pattern baldness

Sorry, ladies, but this post is just for THE GUYS! No girls allowed, LOL!

Anyway. What’s up, my dudes? Now that the females are gone (and I love calling them females), let’s rap about man stuff, know what I’m saying? No, not last night’s siiiiiick game, or chicken wings, or beer (BEER)! Or how Coyote Ugly is unquestionably the number one all-time best movie to jerk it to. We need to talk serious stuff, about health and junk. We’re talking male-pattern baldness solutions, bro.

There’s no shame is thinning hair or hair loss, man. You’re not 19 anymore, broseph, and alopecia (which some dumb book calls it), will affect most dudes. But it’s so lit AF to be alive in a time where there are so many ways to deal with baldness. Try one of these solutions and you’ll feel like you’re back in your Sigma Chi days!

Wear Many Hats

You’ve probably already thought of wearing a hat to hide your bald spot or thinning patches. But your old white Ohio State cap is just gonna make people think you’re balding under there. (They’ll know, dude.) Instead of wearing one hat, wear several hats, either a bunch of small ones, or a big stack of regular ones. Bro, everyone will be so impressed with your hat game that they won’t even think about your disgusting bald spot, bro.

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Diver Down

Dude, we know. This will make you look like you live in a museum, or in an old movie that’s not even in color, or in that video game you didn’t play because you thought it was too ‘thinky.’ But wait, don’t go! It covers up your entire body, which includes your head. That means that no matter where your bald spots lay, or where new ones develop, you’re good to go. No one will know. Plus, you can pipe in stuff you like through the breathing tube, like Drakkar Noir and stuff.

Showtime!

The next time you check out a Mark Wahlberg movie, sit in the back row of the theater. If no bro is behind you, there’s no bro to notice and judge your tragic loss of hair. Uh, also, though- if you pick this option, you can never, ever leave your seat to hit the can. Also, you can never, like, leave the theater at all or go home. But it’s cool, if the theater is one of those nice ones where they deliver snacks to your seat. And Mark Wahlberg makes a lot of movies every year. Plus the new Avengers movie. Dude, we’re so psyched for that.

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Shots!

Nah, sorry, not those kinds of shots. Hormone shots, man! If you’re nine feet tall, no bro in the world will be able to see that you’re straight up balding.

Mountain Man

If needles squick you out, you could just get really tall by living on top of a mountain. Nature is, like, cool, you know? Trees aren’t going to talk smack at you for a thinning hair line, and if they do, you, can just walk up to them like, “What’d you say about me, bro?” And then chop them down and make a sweet campfire. S’mores are tight and taste just as good when you’re bald.

Why Comb “Over” When You Could Comb “Under”?

Instead of slapping those wimpy little threads over tha spot, a doctor will straight up flip your scalp so your bald spot goes on the inside. The ladies are always saying they care about what’s on the inside, and this way, they’ll totes see the inside of your head skin, dude.

Head’s Up!

There has to be, like a head transplant list by now, right? The future is totally now and science is like, really good. Get on that list now, dude!

Images: Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, bro.

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