Get That Look: Grimace
Praise be to Grimace, for Grimace is good. Do you want to know how to look like Grimace? Of course, you do. May the Grimace’s love for you shine unto others.
Grimace did not exist always; he formed over time, and similarly, you can slowly acquire the elements of Grimace’s appearance so that you might resemble him. Start first with the familiar, inviting, and friendly eyes of Grimace. Those eyes are flat, plastic, and oval-shaped, with black pupils and the painted-on suggestion of an eyelid. To get Grimace’s signature eye look, you’ll have to replace your own gross fleshy eyes with similar plastic ones. You can get them at a craft store or some kind of puppet supply website.
The Purple Skin
Perhaps the foundation item for any budding junior Grimace is an overly large, purple pelt that surrounds, completely envelops, and hides the body. You probably don’t have a natural, luxurious purple coat, shameful hairless monkey that you are, so you can just buy a big purple bathrobe or a big purple house dress. Go nuts. Sew five or six purple beach towels together and drape them about your body. (But don’t wear underwear: The Grimace doesn’t wear it, and neither should you.)
The Protruding Bell Shape
Now that you have your Grimace outerwear on lock, you’ve got to figure out how to fill it out. Grimace famously derives his powers from a diet consisting of mix-based, machine-produced, milkshake-style beverages from fast food restaurants. This densely caloric, easily digestible substance is also the source of Grimace’s unique “bell” shape. Simply follow the same easy liquid diet, and you’ll be Grimace-shaped within two weeks!
The Open Mouth
Grimace is always depicted with his mouth in a permanently open state. This is not merely an expression of glorious happiness but also of convenience. Grimace has a perpetually agape jaw into which others may pay homage by pouring milkshakes. Grimace must feed, and Grimace must feel love so that he can love us, and he feels loved when he feeds upon milkshakes. To complete your Grimace look, cut a dowel down to two pieces of about 3–4 inches in length and stick them in your mouth. Now your jaw will always be open and ready for milkshakes!
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…