Brian Boone writes comedy and trivia on the internet and in books, which is like the old timey internet. He shamed his family by losing on Jeopardy.
Note: We only serve cheese pizza.
Remember?
It’s the movie we’ve all been begging for.
Have you heard of the ‘Reverse Heimlich’?
Hint: It involves bears.
What ho, assorted plutocrats, barons of industry, and proper gentlemen!
Yasss!
If you have a problem with that, you can get out of my life.
Don’t go, Jason Waterfalls!
Mmmm, plastic!
Yikes.
“It’s-A Me! Mario!” and other classics.
Hey, remember Collective Soul, that mildly agreeable rock band from the ’90s? It’s weird if you do, because as it turns out, it never existed.
Finally, we know which Culkin is best and which is worst. And who has more authority to speak on the subject than Macaulay Culkin himself?
Want to look hot? Get a pair of glasses They’ll make you look hot. Especially if you’re already hot.
Remember the military guy from the ’80s heyday of the WWF? He’s radically different out of the ring…emphasis on “radical.”
Nearly 30 years later, the subject of the Spin Doctors’ memorable hit gives HER side of the story.
Show your tree how much you love it…physically.
The ocean is terrible and full of scary fish and fish-monsters. Why do you want to go there? What’s wrong with you?
Stop spitting them into the garbage and do something useful with those beetles that emerge from your mouth for inscrutable reasons.
After the XFL tanked in 2001, Vince McMahon tried to WWE-ify other sports. Really. He really did.
Your mom’s sensible beige bra is going to look soooo good on you.
Ladies, these spring perfumes will strongly remember him of springs from long ago AND send him into a downward spiral over deep feelings of loss.
Everybody poops. Even your edgy teen.
Hint: It’s not Lucky Charms.
The goth look is out. The baroque look is in.
It’s so much healthier to bring your baby into the world with a water birth. And it costs next to nothing to do it down at the local pool!
It’s so weird that most of us were scandalized when Prince William and Princess Kate decided to take on a third party into their marriage.
No need to thank us.
Whatever you think you know is really just the tip.
This always happens to me!
There has to be a head transplant list by now, right?
The toilet is where the pee-pee and poops leave your body,
You don’t even have to be dead!
Breathtaking.
His name and intent remain unknown.
I know, it sounds ludicrous, but I assure you this is no joke.
Hey James, fuck you you disgusting shit. Everyone else, please learn to accept your body as it is!
Nowadays, thankfully, there are many different kinds of hats that prevent thought-theft… too many, in fact.
