The Best Spots For Your Post-Hibernation Salmon-And-Honey Binge
You bear? I bear, too! Yes, you bear. You awake now! This bear awake, too. Why? Winter over. Spring now. Warm sun. Flowers. Grass smell in air smell good. Spring! Spring every place. Not just woods where you, bear, live. You read this now mean hibernation and winter over. You did sleep and body use fat stores to live while sleep. But that not now. It spring now, and you, bear, hungry? You, bear, hungry!
Here best places find salmon, fish, honey. Other good bear food, too. Get strong with food, hungry bear!
Big Loud River
You forget where fish live? How long you sleeping, bear? Ha ha ha, this bear make self laugh! Bear kidding, I tell you, reading bear, where fish are. Best fish. Salmon. Salmon so good. So much meat on salmon. You go down to Big Loud River. You stand on rocks where water not deep. You just wait, bear, because soon, salmon swim by. Provide bear like you many nutrition. Fill big bear belly. Yum yum.
Other Salmon Place
Bear forgot to say bear reader about salmon spawn place. It different spot at Big Loud River. Deep in woods. Follow river up through much trees, when Big Loud River turn into Small Quiet River. It where salmon mate, so many salmon there. They very easy to catch because distracted by mating thing. Still delicious even though salmon older. You know this. You bear!
Bear not live salmon alone. Bear need sweet after meat. That why all bear love honey. Go to hidden place in woods. Listen with bear ears. You hear “buzz buzz buzz” sound? You near bee! Look up when here. Hang from tree is beehive. Beehive full of honey. (It also full of bee. Swat bees away with big bear paw. Honey yours.)
House In Clearing
Old man have house. House cabin. Made of woods. He have bee. He have bee live in yard. He get honey from bee, put in jar. He keep jar on shelf in house. House have door, but no lock on door. Go house inside, go “raaaaaaah!” Old man run away. Honey for you now! All food in wood house cabin for you now, too.
Long John Silver’s
End of forest: road. Road wind down little bit to new big house, smell like fish. But this not regular house. This place called Long John Silver’s. It have all good fish. Cod fish. Shrimp fish. Clams. Halibut. Chicken even (it not fish but it taste good and have lots protein like fish.) Guess what? It all cooked! Not raw. Fish not alive. Fish not cold. Fish hot, covered in crispy brown tasty. All fish you ever want right there for bear! Just “raaaaaah! raaaaaah!” and enjoy bear self.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…