Tag Archives: interconnections

We can approximate Muppet genitals based on their design with the following colorful sex toys clearly designed to simulate Muppintercourse.

I make sure my child’s creativity stays strong and vibrant by keeping him in an empty room.

Oh, sure, everyone always gets sooooo excited for summer. A smorgasbord of fashionable outdoor festivals, sipping mai-tais on elegant beach-side patios, entirely new ways of getting judged by your body  – what’s not to love? Your kids, for one thing. Did it occur to you that your kids are going to be home all day, for […]

No, you’re not crazy – if you’ve got a bad feeling it’s happening, then your spouse probably is cheating on you with a circus clown.

Watching porn on the bus doesn’t make me weird. It makes me a sex positive revolutionary on the front lines in the war between prudishness and pleasure.

Nothing says, “I don’t want to lose you, but I also don’t want to lose my marriage” like vaguely-Asian pot stickers.

As busy mom and business owner, I often need a pick me up throughout the day. Most of the time, this comes in the form of the pearl-infused matcha latte at the corner shop, but some days, the creamy green goodness just isn’t working. Thankfully, around three months ago, I found a vice that really […]

Is that so much to ask?

Ahoy, there, mateys! If you’ve got your spyglass trained on a rough-handed mariner, this article is for you. But don’t wait too long! We just saw a red sky this morning, although we probably would have called the color “Cape Cod cranberry” or “peasant blood.” You better get a-tapping before the waters get choppier than […]

Having a baby changes everything, from your bladder function to your spiritual needs. You know you won’t get through it without your doula, but now your life coach, who’s been by your side from your wild single days right through to your socioeconomically appropriate marriage, feels left out. How do you keep the most important […]

Look. Not everyone still likes weed, okay? Just because now you are in your mid-thirties and no longer enjoy feeling like you’re going to fall out of a window and directly into a police cell every time you take a single puff off someone’s “totally mellow, home-grown” joint, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. […]

We need a fun and competitive blood sport that combines hockey with a dash of child abuse.

The last thing an on-the-market millennial needs is for that new special someone to stumble upon your embarrassing collection of scattered fake security badges and hospital IDs. Cringe!

Finger licking good. Also, really really sorry about slavery.

***—FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE—*** Bunnyears.com We at Bunny Ears are announcing the departure of our fact-checker, Thurston Greaydon James Ned Wulfric III, effective immediately. This decision is mutual-ish and we will include a short statement from Thurston in this release. Thurston has been with us for eight months, fact-checking and testing everything from Ranch Cleanses to Pickled […]

We’ve heard about it in rap songs and on pamphlets, and we know it must at least be as great as McDonald’s because those are the two things they miss most on Orange Is the New Black. But what’s it really like?

Summer is the perfect time for your children to engage in holistic learning. However, this can be hard to accomplish at home, especially when you have plans to attend a tropical resort clinic to learn mindful breathing while on a Mai Tai cleanse.  So to ensure that your Precious Little Ones get the most out […]

Let’s face it – it’s not easy to live adjacent to wealth and status. That’s why it’s important to take the time to make your servants feel appreciated. Now before you spit out your mimosa and have FedEx send a printed copy of this article to your home via bike messenger so that you can […]

Are you and your partner missing that spark? Has the once fiery passion that burned between you like a throbbing Adonis somehow dulled into the cool flaccidity of Meatloaf’s neck flap? Even if you were forced to bring great shame to your house by answering “yes” to the previous questions, don’t despair! There is hope […]

I’m really good with kids because I understand them. Check out any kid and they’re most likely falling over, talking to themselves, or making crazy shit up. They’re basically me, mini-sized. So now that I’m an adult, and have spent 23 years without ‘em, I’m ready to get knocked up and pop out a few […]

I think the single most frustrating part of being a woman must be when men don’t take you seriously. As I was explaining to my sister the other day, this problem springs from a refusal to listen to and understand women’s issues. But as a strong male ally, I always completely get what women are […]

It can happen to anyone.

Seriously. So positive.

It’s hard, but it’s possible.

This is a story of a sweet, innocent young woman letting go, embracing her kinky side, and learning to reconcile those two facets of her personality. I was a sexually inexperienced grad student when I first met “Dan,” an interior designer whose taste in decor was pretty standard, but whose sexual proclivities were anything but […]

Hi! I’m Daniel O’Brien, author, friend, and retired rollerblader. I’ve never claimed to have all the answers and I didn’t start out writing because I wanted or expected to get into the advice business. But I’m a public-facing person who is both happy and successful and can generally navigate most situations with some degree of […]

Deck the halls with a perfect Christmas tree, you absolutely miserable bastard.

If your kid prefers squishing a disgusting substance between their fingers more than interacting with you, then congratulations, this guide is for you.

The spirit of Desdemona Turnerwood thinks you’re “vile, truly vile!”

Bunny Ears got to sit down with the relationships of Clueless to see how they’re doing now.

It’s not okay to go on vacation and have an affair. We should have known that. That’s on us. But also, you should have known not to take that advice, so that’s on you, too.

I’d like to send a message to all the men I’ve dated, am currently dating, and who moved out of state after I emotionally ruined them. That message is: One cannot have “daddy issues” when they have no daddy physically present on this planet to give provide them with said issues. When I bring up my […]

I know you’re just minding your own business, and as a grown up, you probably don’t want to be lifted off the ground. But let me crack your back. Please.

It’s never a positive sign if your husband is suddenly snapped back to 2019 without any clothes on and a slightly sweaty sheen to him.

Killer whales have dominated the mommy game lately, which is why I’m now only communicating with my children with squeaking and nose bumps.

Modern love is a strange, exhausting experience.

Don’t even introduce yourself.

It’s not easy, but it’s possible!

There must be a logical explanation.

My leash kid is on a leash. The dogs are on leashes. I don’t see the problem?

We dove deep to find out exactly where you should be pooping. You’re welcome!

Hey Janice just wanted to let you know that sweater is super cute and also cancer but you’ve got like thirty years.

Based on my experience, these are hard rules (no exceptions) on how to catch the absolute perfect, most brilliant, driven person ever. 

We followed Rami Malek around to see what he gets up to, and then kidnapped him!

Your move, Edwina.