Using Your Love Language To Ask To Speak To The Manager
Asking to speak to the manager can make both you and the service person you’re going to complain about feel bad. That doesn’t mean, of course, that you’re not going to do it. They are refusing to let your son and his 62 closest friends into the party room without a reservation, and for that, they must pay. So to alleviate the guilt you feel for getting that person in trouble just for doing their job in the nicest way possible, use your love language! Find your love language below for the most affectionate translation of “I need to speak to your manager.”
Fight your instinct to scream at the illiterate jackass who couldn’t find your name on the list if it was written on the inside of their eyelids and invite them to sit down with you. Ask them about their day. Pretend to empathize with their poor-person problems, and remember, don’t try to fix—just make them feel heard. Then make them feel like they’re hearing you ask to speak to their manager, because they definitely know who you are and they’re going to be outraged that you’ve been kept waiting this long.
Acts of Service
Your server is probably only refusing to run your credit card for the 11th time because they’re busy and stressed. Take some of that load off their shoulders by busing some tables for them or refilling your own drink. This way, you don’t even have to ask! The manager will come to you. When they emerge from the back office to find out why a customer is doing their employee’s job, you can tell them that they just seemed really overwhelmed and they mentioned wanting to take a crack break, so you thought you’d pitch in.
You’re probably wearing more money just on your wrists than this person will ever seen in their entire life. Let them know you appreciate them by giving them the $500 scarf you blew your nose into earlier or the Rolex that’s one of dozens just like it you have at home. There is no level of service they can provide that will even come close to matching your generosity, so you’ll feel justified asking for the manager no matter what. But whatever you do, never, ever tip. Tipping is an insult to an employee’s work ethic, and besides, they clearly gave you sea salt when you asked for kosher salt. What exactly do they expect?
Maybe skip this one, or you could be the one led out by security.
Words of Affirmation
It’s going to be difficult, but find something, anything, on which you can compliment your service person. A “you have such a nice smile,” “your apron isn’t completely filthy,” or “you are so good at fetching the manager” followed by a meaningful pause can really make your service person feel validated. Trust us—they’ll appreciate this so much more than the job they’re about to lose for putting the wrong number of chocolate shavings on your latte.
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