Bring Meaning To Your Life With This New Wellness Product 
…Thoughts and prayers found to be cancerous…
…Cancer and Death to marry… cigarettes devastated…
…AMBER ALERT: Spoon; Last seen running away with a Dish…
…Police Discover Two Bodies In Witch’s Oven…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Africa Is Not A Country…
…Teeth Found To Be Tongue Prison…
…RIP KOKO…
Cigarettes linked to cancer!
…Hillary Clinton Still Roaming The Woods…
…Local Mom Still Talking About Tupperware…
…Tropic of Cancer sues Caribbean Medical Board for copyright infringement…
…Christmas Scheduled to Happen Again This Year…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Four turtles and a rat found dead of toxic poisoning…
…9 Out Of 10 Dentists Agree: Vacuums Suck…
…San Francisco and Oakland make up; will become one city…
…Mannequins found in store window…
…BREAKING: Grandmother Not Actually As Proud Of You As She Says…
…Ophthalmologist: Glasses Are Sexy…
…Queen Kong???…
…Waldo still missing…
…Dog’s Feet Smell Like Vacuum Cleaner Bag…
…The Academy Awards ‘In Memoriam’ Forgets To Mention Macaulay Culkin For The Third Year In A Row…
…10 Out Of 10 Car Salesmen Agree, You Need A New Car…
…Man Wakes Up From 10 Year Coma, Asks, “What’s Up With Lance Armstrong?”…
…”Peacoat” not what name suggests…
…Trump Asks Media “What’s A Tariff?”…
…“Specialist” not a real designation…
Cancer linked to death!
…Murder Victim Speaks Out…
…City Announces Subway Being Rebranded As “Uber Metro”…
…Study finds that 9 out of 10 studies are for nerds…
… Red and Yellow Is The New Black…
…Snow Is Just Rain That Forgot To Melt…
…Quiz: Which 90s Murderer Are You?…
…AMBER ALERT: Tiffany Amber Thiessen…
…Secret Ingredient To Sushi Discovered: FISH…
…AMBER ALERT: Amber Tamblyn…
…Medieval Times to get modern update…
…Hats are cool…
…Psychic Predicts World Already Over…
…Lindbergh baby missing…
…Corks Found To Only Be Holding Things Back…
…BitCoins Revealed To Be Pogs All Along…
…Scientists find that Vaping is dope AF…
…Forever 21 Turns 34 this year…
…Roast Beef: Lunch Meat or Middle Toe? Little Piggies Respond…
…Supreme Court Rules: We Rule! …
…Quiz: Do You Have A Savior Complex Or Are You Just Jesus?…
…Entertainment personality ahead in the polls…
…Colonel Sanders Found to Have Never Served in the Military…
…15 found dead in Warner Bros. Water Tower, at the Warner Movie lot…
…God found dead in space…
…Newest Gaming Trend: Personal Space…
…BREAKING NEWS: Dumb Is Spelled With A ‘B’…
…BREAKING NEWS: New Yorkers shocked to learn Staten Island isn’t part of New Jersey…
…Forks and outlets: you decide…
…Quiz: Does He Know You’re Illiterate? …

Bring Meaning To Your Life With This New Wellness Product 

wellness product

Bunny Ears knows that the road to spiritual wellness is a long and difficult one. Sometimes, it feels like, no matter how large your crystal collection, no matter how many organic recipes you master, no matter how many spa trips you take and all-natural moisturizers you buy and salt lamps you decorate your home with, it’s simply never enough to fill the void you feel tugging at your soul. How do you maintain your pursuit for enlightenment in the face of such discouragement?

You could step back, reexamine your situation, and question if your spiritual health needs to rely on consumer culture to be fulfilled, or you could purchase the Soulwell! The Soulwell is unlike any other wellness product you’ve bought to date. Having been afforded the opportunity to spend time with the product, we cannot begin to overstate how soothing the Soulwell is. It made us feel more relaxed, more serene, and most importantly, more spiritually healthy.

wellness product

We know you’ve been burned before. Your $300 fair trade alpaca wool sweater may feel warmer than your ratty old sweatshop sweatshirt, but inside, you still feel the same sense of nagging dissatisfaction. Your All-Natural Bath Bomb of the Month subscription might leave your skin smoother than your old chemical laden Walmart bubble bath did, but there are nights where you still don’t feel like you belong in it. But the Soulwell will be the one that fixes everything. The Soulwell will let you sleep at night. When you use and/or are in the presence of the Soulwell, everything just looks a little brighter. Is that an opportunity you can afford to turn down?

We always endeavor to offer suggestion, not instruction. It is ultimately your choice whether you’d like to guide your life by the principles the Soulwell can offer you. But at a mere $699.99, can you really afford to say no to the chance to add meaning to your life? Family troubles will look petty in comparison. Professional worries will melt away. Fears and anxieties will vanish, this time for good, possibly. The last several hundred attempts you made to create meaning through consumption may have eventually failed, but who likes a quitter? Spiritual wellness isn’t achieved without setbacks, and setbacks aren’t solved without the Soulwell.

wellness product

In the interest of full disclosure, Bunny Ears does receive a small commission from every Soulwell purchased through our affiliate links. And yes, we do have corporate ties with the Swedish or possibly Danish or Japanese manufacturer of the Soulwell. But what we have even stronger ties to are your well-being. The Soulwell is going to revolutionize the wellness field. You know you’re not happy. We know that the Soulwell can change that forever. What more do you need to know about it?

Thanks for reading today’s feature. Be sure to check back next week when we preview the Bondglommer, which is shaping up to be the hottest new trend on the wellness market!

Mark Hill
Mark Hill

Author - Scribe - Robot?

Mark has written for Cracked, the Modern Rogue, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, the Atlantic, Motherboard, the Daily Dot, and a bunch of other places that he can't remember off the top of his head. He also writes most of the nation's grocery lists.

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