Back-To-School Sales For Regressing Back To When You Had Hope
Yes, the earth is dying, but check out these glitter pens!
My Morning Routine: I Lick Everything In The House So It Stays Mine
When you grow up in a house with seven brothers, you learn certain habits that last a lifetime.
Introducing Culk-Inn, The World’s First Macaulay Culkin-Themed Luxury Hotel
Note: We only serve cheese pizza.
Summer’s Hottest Look Is Bleaching Then Tie-Dying Your Butthole
Bleaching your butthole is out. Bleaching then TIE-DYING your butthole is very in.
6 Bathrobes Perfect For Doing Coked-Up Naked Karate
Have you ever felt just a little TOO nude while doing naked karate?
How To Talk About The Books You Only Bought Because They’re Pretty
Use words like ‘imagery’ and ‘prose.’
Become An Organizational Wizard By Asking Actual Wizards For Help
They mostly told us to optimize vertical space?
How to Tell Your Kids There’s A Baby in Your Tummy—Because You Ate One
It can be hard for them to understand.
How To Best Oppress Your Workers In The Era of Climate Change
Wondering how to oppress your workers responsibily in the era of climate change? We are too!
Is The Bunny Ears Pop-Up Coming To Your City? Because We’ve Lost It
If you see it, please let us know.
Everything That’s Gonna Bite You On This Summer Hiking Trip
Heading out into the wilderness for some hiking is a great way to reconnect with your true self and get your ass bit by majestic nature.
I No Longer Believe In Cage-Free Zoos Now That My Family Is Dead
The hyena ambush really sealed the deal.
Styles Everyone Will Be Wearing When The Dystopian Regime Commands It
This is what Best Leader wants for us.
I’m No Longer Married To The Sea, And I’m Ready To Mingle
I’m on the hunt for the ultimate white whale: love.
Finding the Perfect Vape Flavor To Pair With Your Glaring Personality Flaws
Looking to start vaping? Our team of experts will guide you into finding a flavor that nicely complements your inability to grow up.
Our Guide To The Most Terrifyingly Authentic Renaissance Faires of 2019
Like the Harvard Yard Festival, where stake-burning is encouraged!
Our Marshmallow Diet Lets You Camp In The Woods For Weeks Without Pooping!
Marshmallows are basically nature’s intestinal glue.
I Went Phoneless For A Week (Because A Mugger Stole My Phone)
Don’t you just hate it when we start going crazy when you’re without your phone for a week after a mass assailant robs you of it at gunpoint? Me too.
Deep Breathing Exercises For When Your Home Is Getting Robbed Right Now
Don’t let the stress of a home invasion get to you.
Adult Diaper Play The Eco-Friendly Way With Reusable Diapers
Adult diaper play is nothing to be ashamed of…but abusing the earth IS.
This Summer’s Hottest Diet Is Staring At The Ocean Thinking About Food
There’s so many kinds of foods you can think about!