Tag Archives: lifestyle

100% of people who breathe oxygen will die at some point in their life.

Yes, your eyes WILL fly out of your head and dangle on your cheeks. But you’ll have confronted your fears in the process.

Do you panic during surgery? Do you constantly fear getting lost in the mall?

We made a mistake, okay?

You might never be able to stay at any Marriott-affiliated hotel or resort again. But it’s worth it!

Being a stepmom is tough, but it can also be rewarding, like when your stepson begrudgingly says you can ride with him to your five-year high school reunion.

I realized I was doing everything exactly right.

We’re all going to die someday, but dumb toddlers usually don’t figure that out so soon. Whoops.

This is the story of my intense gummy shark fetish.

It’s easy!

Read on for the latest trends in dildo couture.

Have you heard of alternate nostril breathing?

Want to save the planet AND keep being an unimprovable slob? Our biodegradable work-out equipment lets you finally feel good about doing nothing!

The secret to rebuilding my confidence was admitting that I needed help – the help of a trusted therapist and of a pair of 5-foot-tall circus stilts.

The hottest new salad proteins are hopefully maggots, because that’s definitely what’s in this trendy salad pack we bought three weeks ago!

You’re probably used to singing the worst karaoke songs ever. If you’re one of those people who love singing songs that end too quickly, this is for you.

Drinking on Mother’s Day won’t help your partner and children truly appreciate you, but it WILL get you through another day without murder charges!

I’m mortified just thinking of what to write here!

It’s a conversation every parent should have with their child.

You’re going to fuck this up

These delicious, healthful activated cashews are so godammned good you’ll literally feel like you’re getting pounded by Mr. Peanut.

I’m sorry to be the one to say it.

Now that cannabis is legal in nine of the chillest states in the U.S., a few select gyms are offering cannabis yoga classes. Studies conducted at Dr. Big Dawg’s Dope Research Institute show that getting super high and doing yoga rules. We’re not going to take science’s word for it, though. I went out into […]

Creative types, listen up: It might be nice doing what your heart desires, but you’ll never make any money that way. Do you really think you’re going to be able to find success with your emotional, patient lifestyle when there are so many other lifestyles willing to please everyone else in your life? It’s about […]

I’ve been to the bottom, man. Last night was the fourth straight evening I spent catching z’s in my vehicle. Granted, it’s happened to the best of us, especially us common folk who refuse handouts and breadcrumbs from the 1%. But it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you’ve […]

It’s easy!

Sorry.

I’m coming for you, Snowy Owl.

Like maybe some plants? Who gives a shit.

Hey Shopaholics! I’ve just gotten back from scoping out the Cupertino Square Mall in sunny Cupertino, CA, and I’ve got some great tips for you. The Cupertino Square Mall opened in 1976, it’s three stories, and has enough space to house almost 200 retail stores. Here’s a shopping guide for any shoppers looking for a […]

Utterly alone.

Welcome to the future.

Rummage through the trash of life and find your true self!

Finally!

As a trendsetter, you grow accustomed to learning new things in surprising places. I wouldn’t be the daring style icon I am today if I weren’t ready to adopt fashion ideas from, say, nature, or unexpected encounters with people below my income bracket, or even the various diverse cultures that my ancestors helped to oppress. […]

His blood is magic.

We can help.

At your wit’s end with your kids eating their boogers instead of your delicious homemade meals?

Finally!

Use your pubes as nature intended!

Mother’s Day shouldn’t just be about the woman who actually gave birth to you. What’s wrong with honoring all the people you accidentally called “Mom?”

We see you.

We’re saying ‘yes’ to summer and ‘no more’ to your lawsuits!

It sounds so real.

The hyena ambush really sealed the deal.