Serene Bottomless Pits To Visit This Summer
With all the backyard cookouts and fireworks, we forget that summertime is also the season of peaceful relaxation. Why not treat yourself to a spiritual vacation and visit one of the following bottomless pits destined to soothe your busy brain? The darkness is eternal!
The Yawning Forever — Shelburne Falls, MA
Tucked away in a small New England town, the Yawning Forever is one of those bottomless pits you’d stumble into on a morning jog or bike ride. It is named for the warm gusts that exit its ground maw like some kind of slumbering dragon, making it a local favorite during those chilly fall months when scores of townsfolk gather wordlessly around it. During the summer hours, this mysterious hole is much less crowded, allowing you a more personal experience as you hang your head over the blackness, staring deep into the breathy and sulfuric abyss.
The Eye Of Sand — Sahara Desert, Africa
The Eye of Sand is unique among bottomless pits in that it comes with a free, naturally occurring souvenir. Simply stand at the edge with an outstretched palm, and the pit will vomit a flourish of small photographs depicting your worst fears and secrets. The pit knows all, and your resistance is but a human farce. Why is it here? What is inside of it? Many have attempted to discover the secret, and their continuously echoing wails are an auditory monument to their failure.
Poseidon’s Trash Mouth — New York City, NY
The Trash Mouth is one of the newer abysses to open up in the past decade, but it is significant for routinely emitting blinding streams of flaming trash directly into the East River. Studies of the garbage found it to be of Asian origin and dating 600 years in the future, giving boat-going locals a chance to grab a piece of their distant fate. For less daring visitors, the Mouth is best viewed from the Brooklyn Bridge, a high vantage that gives you the best chance of spiritually connecting with the enigmatic cavity. Stare into it for a good six or seven hours to get the full calming effect, allowing the whispers of the mouth seep into the fiber of your bones and take control of your will. Where does this hole lead to? Are we truly outside of these mysterious pits, or are we actually inside of them? There’s only one way to find out.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…