Fun First Date Conversations That Are Exclusively Die Hard Quotes

June 14, 2019 by , featured in Lifestyle
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So you’re about to go on a first date, and you’re feeling anxious. Don’t worry—we’re going to help you become the smooth operator we both know you can be. Yes, we’re talking about Bruce Willis. Whip these Die Hard quotes out on your first date, and you’re sure to be as cool as Mr. McClane himself.

The Greeting

First impressions are everything. Be sure to greet your date with a nice and throaty, “Welcome to the party, pal!” Calling your date “pal” right off the bat will instantly intrigue them. Are you friend-zoning them? Are you being flirty? Nothing is sexier than mixed signals.

Ordering Your Meal

When the waitress asks if you need wine glasses, respond with a suave, “Glass? Who gives a shit about glass?” When the waitress asks if you’d like a side of fries, respond with an alluring, “No fucking shit, lady, does it sound like I’m ordering a pizza?!”

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When The Food Arrives

After you’re served with a beautiful plate of food, show off your refined palette and appreciation for high cuisine by saying, “You motherfucker, I’m gonna kill you! I’m gonna fuckin’ cook you, and I’m gonna fucking eat you!” Make some gestures with your silverware for extra emphasis.

Dinner Conversation

When your date asks what you do for a living, you can say “I’m a cop from New York” even if you’re not. It sounds a lot cooler than being a part-time grocery store clerk, right?

If you want to hint at planning a second date but don’t want to come off as too eager, you can cavalierly drop a “Come out to the coast! We’ll get together, have a few laughs.” This shows your date that you are exotic and have a sense of humor. They’ll be sure to agree! After all, Bruce Willis would never let you down like that.

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In the unlikely event that your date calls you an asshole, here’s a fun and flirty Die Hard quote rebuttal: “Asshole? I’m not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, Dwayne. Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you’re not a part of the solution, you’re a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the fucking problem, and put the other guy back on!” Calling your date “Dwayne” is so hot.

Sealing the Deal

When your date agrees to go home with you, be sure to throw in a nice and firm “Yippie-ki-yay, motherfucker!” If your date doesn’t recognize this common expression of pride and success, don’t fuck them. It wasn’t meant to be.

Image: Twentieth Century Fox


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2 Comments

  1. This article really helped. I feel better now. But if the date doesn’t go well I’m going to tie a fire hose around my waist and jump off the roof.

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