The Best Places To Steal Mimosas

Let’s get some things straight right off the bat: I am not an alcoholic, and I am very, stupidly rich. There’s no reason I can’t pay for my own mimosas, but if I need to explain the rush of stealing something petty from people who are probably less well-off, you’re clearly too poor to talk to. With that in mind, here are my favorite places to steal brunch mimosas.

1. The Rainbow Room (Los Angeles)

This place is both iconic and expensive, just like me. Not that the price matters, mind you. I’m not looking to save cash or flaunt my wealth, I’m just looking for that sweet and tangy champagne juice. Elle Fanning does not pay for her own drinks, and goddammit, neither do I.

2. Cafe Mimosa (San Clemente)

I mean, obviously. But don’t get it twisted. Remember, I am not an alcoholic. I do not have problems, and I don’t need to go to meetings. I am a day drunk. A social drinker. A classy as shitting fuck debutante. I need to drink not because I am addicted but because the world needs to see how carefree and fun-loving I am.

3. Casablanca Restaurant (Hacienda Heights)

How does Mexican food for brunch grab you? Because it grabs me pretty darn tight every frickin’ Sunday. All the booze and beans can leave the customers a little gassy, but everyone is so tipsy that nobody really seems to mind, and the wait staff usually won’t kick me out until I’ve sauntered up to a random stranger and quoted Humphrey Bogart in an animated drawl for at least the 18th time. Plus, the mimosas are bottomless, so you don’t have to feel even a little bad for stealing one.

4. Prospect Gourmand (Beverly Hills)

Casablanca’s brunch menu ends at 3:00 P.M., so I just race over to Prospect Gourmand for one more hour of stealing brunch mimosas and savoring that boozy orange goodness.

5. Chili’s (Everywhere)

Second drinks, y’all!

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