Water-Saver! Collect And Store Your Own Spit For Later Consumption
Nobody wants to think about it, but the world is rapidly running out of water. Since the so-called “scientists” ignore the problem while pushing dangerous vaccinations on our kids, there’s no reason we can’t individually come up with a solution that will both conserve and preserve the water we have.
That’s where you come in! Believe it or not, but the human body is one of the best sources for renewable water, and the solution was literally right under our noses this entire time.
The human mouth can produce up to two liters of spit in 24 hours; that’s four pint glasses filled with human saliva! Coincidentally, two liters is the exact same amount of water doctors recommend we drink per day, making our spit an infinite source of hydration. We’ve heretofore allowed social stigma to prevent us from fully taking advantage of this untapped resource, but thanks to a new craze hitting the streets, people are starting to come around to the idea of “salivitalization.” Here’s how it works:
- Keep at least four or five empty jars or bottles around your workstation and living area.
- Train your brain to become aware of your constant, involuntary swallowing pattern.
- Whenever you feel a swallow coming, simply spit into an empty container instead.
- By the end of the day, you should have a few full bottles of spit, which you can refrigerate overnight.
That’s it! In the morning, you’ll have a completely self-sustaining and refreshing source of water! Drink it straight, or warm it up for a relaxing tea. Brew coffee. Make a ramen lunch. Whatever you do with water, you can do with spit!
I know what you’re thinking: “But this can’t possibly replace my beloved LaCroix!” That’s where you’re wrong, friend! Depending on which meals you eat throughout the day, your recycled spit can have any flavor you want! Imagine getting to enjoy your Thanksgiving meal a second time the following day or bathing in the musky flavor of barbecue like some kind of beefy cowboy. The only limit is your imagination and previous day’s diet!
With a long enough head start, you can eventually use your renewable mouth water for all kinds of other purposes! You can use it to fill your toilet bowl, wash your dishes, and even clean yourself. If you need to wash up, simply fill an antique dish basin with your personal supply and splash your arms and neck for a quick refresher. Cats do it all the time, and they look amazing!
We get it: Change is hard. But the easy route is what got our environment in this mess in the first place. It’s time that we, the individual, step up and do something about it. Won’t you join me in slowly accumulating spit inside jars for later consumption?