Turns Out Luigi’s Been Filming Porn In His Mansion This Whole Time

Whispers about Luigi’s haunted mansion—located in the valley—have been circulating for years. Well, the rumors are true: Luigi has been filming porn in the mansion this entire time. It’s not exactly a surprise. A string of lighting crews, camera men, and “talent” have been coming in and out of the mansion’s doors since he purchased the property in 2001. But Luigi has always been coy about what, if anything, was really going on. Until now. In an exclusive interview, Luigi (and his brother, Mario) sat down to walk us through his lucrative—albeit little-known—adult entertainment empire.

“We keep it eclectic,” Luigi said while taking a drag of his cigarette. “Classic plumber comes to lay some pipe, step fantasy, and of course lots of cuckhold stuff. ”

He went on to explain how the entire endeavor came to pass. “At first it was just some friends blowing off steam, you know? We got rich and famous overnight. And we were so young. We would party every weekend. Booze, drugs. People lined up down the block trying to get in. A lot of this stuff was happening anyway—without cameras rolling—so I figured why not capitalize? Everyone was game.”

“It was just a good-a time!” Mario interjected.

“And then the neighbors started complaining. ‘Luigi, why is there so much moaning? Luigi, why are we hearing screams at three in the morning?’ And the thing is, yeah—a lot of the time it’s the porn. But sometimes it’s the ghosts. And I can’t do shit about that. Plus, have you ever tried telling an exhausted crew of 30 that we missed the cum shot because of paranormal interference with the camera?”

“Porn is a tough business,” he concluded. “And porn in a haunted mansion? Let’s just say I earn my checks, ya know?” 

Mario perhaps said it best, closing out the interview with, “It’s-a not a big-deal. Everybody-a fucks!”

Indeed they do, sir.

 (Luigi asked that we take this opportunity to plug the Luigi’s Haunted Mansion 3 release date as October 31st, 2019, and to also remind readers that Luigi’s Haunted Mansion is available on Nintendo Switch).

Image: Pixabay, Nintendo