Ways To Sound Erudite In Your Pornhub Video Comments

One of the greatest joys art can provide is thoughtful and intelligent discussion. Which is why you don’t want to sound like a common simpleton while conversing with your peers on Pornhub. And that’s why we, in turn, recommend busting out your thesaurus when leaving a comment prior to busting. For instance, instead of crudely proclaiming, “I came buckets,” perhaps try typing, “This video elicited a tremendous agglomeration.” Don’t you feel more sophisticated already?

We understand that invoking the depths of your vocabulary can be difficult with only one hand while balancing a dish rag and tub of coconut oil on your thighs. So here are a few other helpful phrases you can use to lead the dialogue in a more cultured direction while you edge then explode onto your keyboard.

• “I’m enamored with her ability to replicate the latter oeuvre of Jackson Pollack” is a perfect alternative to, “damn she took that bukkake like a champ.”
• “Might I dare inquire about the existence of this particular madam’s foray into posterior enterprises?” is a nobler way of asking, “has she dun anal?”
• “I am both envious and enthralled by the visions dancing before me” instead of, “i wish my girlfrend fucked like dat”
• “Might someone residing in close proximity enjoy engaging in a display of triad pleasure?” is a wonderful alternative to, “anyone in Minneapolis wanna give me my first threeway?”
• And to really knock their crusty socks off, try dropping, “The propagation of extensive Oedipal motifs is eminently confounding” in place of, “who is all this incest shit for?”

Lastly, instead of, “name?” try … you know what? Nothing wrong with that one. Shakespeare himself once said that brevity is the soul of wit. Plus, it’s the fewest amount of words needed to find the largest of sweet dumpers. Bravo!