Vegan Alternatives To Whippits

I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would only stick to gateway drugs. On the other hand, I also made a promise to PETA that I would not use animal products for my own personal benefit. Which is why I’m so glad I found these vegan alternatives to whippits. They let me ride that beautiful, minute-long buzz while ensuring that no animals were harmed in the process. 

1. Various Teas

Whippit cans pollute the planet, whereas tea pollutes literally nothing (bonus points if you use a compostable tea bag). Plus, the tea options are plentiful! You could go herbal, black, caffeinated, even regular old English Breakfast! How many flavors do whippits come in? The answer: not as many as tea … and that’s the tea.

2. Spray Paint

First of all, never sniff glue! It makes you puke, like, 80% of the time. Second, cans of spray paint are the perfect animal-cruelty-free whippit alternative. (Warning: Side effects may include staining your face. So be sure to choose a spray paint color you can wear to school or the office). 

3. Poppers

I know what you’re thinking: Are poppers vegan? Well, the jalepeño kind are. Take some of them sweet ‘n spicy peppers, throw some vegan cheese on them, and waft without exhaling until you pass out.

4. Helium

Despite common misconceptions, helium is definitely vegan—it’s a gas, dummy! However, it’s not like methane, which comes from cows and cows alone. Don’t steal methane from the cows. They worked hard to produce it and we’ve already taken enough from them. Plus, helium makes your voice super fun. 

5. Vegan Whipped Cream

For the less-creative kids out there, you can of course always buy cans of vegan-brand whipped cream. Just know that the high likely won’t fully satiate and you’ll secretly wish you could just have the real deal.

Images: Pixabay, Walmart