Tag Archives: drugs

As a man, I believe it’s unfair for any woman to have fun that I cannot partake in myself. That’s why I’m the reason all the local bars that offer “ladies nights” must now also offer “men’s nights” that I personally do not attend out of fear of those who do, which only proves my […]

Recently, I hit rock bottom. I think it all started as a child when my parents divorced, and it amplified in my adult years when my mother died. I know these are things most people “work through” at some point in their lives, but I don’t believe in therapy and no amount of crystals were […]

Do you have a hard time stopping yourself from endless late night binges? Do you find that even hearing the word “exercise” evokes an involuntary gag reflex? And are you looking to lose weight? Here’s a diet I bet you haven’t tried yet: the wisdom teeth removal diet! Now, if you’ve already had yours removed, […]

So your dependence on alcohol is getting out of hand, and people are starting to get worried. It started small, with a nightly six-pack of locally brewed small-batch IPA or an ironic box of wine, but now you’d lick a hobo just to inhale the fumes of Wild Turkey emanating from his pores. That’s troubling […]

Are you feeling the traveling bug, but your busy schedule won’t allow it? Do you wish you could just blow off your whole day and go sightseeing, without having to spend a small fortune, most of which is already earmarked for your upcoming custody hearing, on airfare and lodging? Heck, do you just want to […]

Bees are dying and we need to save them to maintain the human food supply and let me use their stingers to trip balls on the regular.

There’s a whole world of fun back there to enjoy while the goons drive you to the murder spot.

Hey there, pal. You seem like a cool dude, brother. You know, I’ve seen a lot of cool, tough guys in my time, so I know a real dude when I see him. But I also know that it’s hard out there for cool, hip boys who are just trying to hang ten with the […]

As busy mom and business owner, I often need a pick me up throughout the day. Most of the time, this comes in the form of the pearl-infused matcha latte at the corner shop, but some days, the creamy green goodness just isn’t working. Thankfully, around three months ago, I found a vice that really […]

When someone you care about dies, it’s vital to keep the focus on what really matters: YOU!

One taste of that needle now, and they’ll be hooked for life.

It’s summer, and at Bunny Ears, that means exactly two things: taco bowls and experimenting with dangerously powerful exotic hallucinogens from around the globe. Why not mix the two? After all, psychoactive substances have proven spiritual and psychological benefits, and taco bowls are delicious. To ensure a taco bowl of maximum mind-opening, exotic flavor, we’ll […]

Take the blue pill, take the red pill, take all the pills from Dr. Mario. (Except for the red-blue one.)

Psst. Hey, kid. You wanna get high?

Save yourself some money (and a visit with your “guy”) by making your own Adderall at home. Now FOCUS.

And it’s wildly disappointing.

Take this psychological drama to the next level.

There are so many ethical, cruelty-free ways to get high as balls.

It hurts so good!

From cocaine to molly!

Natasha Lyonne and Macaulay Culkin: two definitely not dead celebrities!

Are you tired of the bitter tasted of crushed up pills? Boy do we have something for you!

This year, my goal is to get shwiggity fuckin’ shwasted, and I can’t wait to get to it!

Fuck! Are you feeling this?

Because fuck shirts. Except ours, you should buy ours with that link to your right.

Stop what you’re doing, grab your travel journal, and take note, ’cause I’m going to run down the five Rite Aids you MUST visit before you eat the big one.

It happens every time: I invite a friend over for brunch, a tarot reading, or an intravenous drug party, and they soon notice that my house is clearly haunted. It’s admittedly hard to miss— objects fly around seemingly of their their volition, and there’s that faint, creepy whispering from deep within the walls. I try to […]