bunnyears

…Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
…Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Email From Mom Has 4 FWDs In Subject Line…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Woman Memorizes Snapple Fact In Case Tonight’s Party Is That Bad…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Single Woman Manages To Meet Food Delivery Minimum…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
…Quiz: Is This The Good Milk?…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…New Boyfriend Eats Imitation Crab Straight From The Package…
…According to studies accordions are unsteady…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
…Hurricane wipes out town of Duckberg…

Save The Bees So I Can Keep Using Their Venom To Get High

Save The Bees So I Can Keep Using Their Venom To Get High

The campaign to save the bees has reached an emergency level. Populations of all species of bees continue to decline due to climate change and other human interference. This affects all of us as a global community and me, personally, because if they all go away, so does the best high I’ve ever experienced.

Colony collapse disorder is bumming me out considerably. I use bee venom medicinally to treat my recurring sobriety. Bee venom, also known as “Plan Bee,” is injected by taping a jar of bees to one’s body, which is more legal and easier to obtain than actual Plan B. Well, it was. For this reason alone, the decline of the bee is a tragedy, and we need to do something about it.

Save The Bees So I Can Keep Using Their Venom To Get High

Stay Informed: Street Names for Bee Venom

Aside from Plan Bee, bee venom is also known as:

  • Apie (from “apiary”)
  • Ape
  • P.B.
  • Bee Pee
  • B.P.
  • P.B. Livin’
  • PB&J
  • Beeing
  • Bee Movie on LaserDisc
  • Stinger Bell
  • Bee-yonce Knowles Carter
  • “Drugs” (with finger quotes)

How Do I Know If Plan Bee Is Right For Me?

Much like being, beeing isn’t for everyone. Bee venom is stunningly addictive. The last time I tried to withdraw, I was arrested at the state fair for stripping nude and tackling a performer wearing bees as a beard. The incident forced the organizers to cancel the REO Speedwagon show.

DON’T MISS:  I Cured My Body Image Issues By Smashing All The Mirrors In My Town

That said, while Bunny Ears has been historically anti-bee, when those stingers go in and the venom flows around my body, they turn into a hundred dicks and my whole body into a tight butthole. 

Save The Bees So I Can Keep Using Their Venom To Get High

Bee venom is no different than other bee products we love and savor. Royal jelly, honey, and venom are merely different forms of bee saliva. Those salivas are part of the many gifts that bees give to humanity. Putting bee saliva in my body is my way of swapping spit with the universe.

After becoming a full-fledged member of the Bee Hive, I now possess the power and knowledge of bees. Bee venom lets you ride the next wave of perception. By joining the universal hive mind, one perceives the world like a bee or a Free Willy. Think about it: killer bee, killer whale, and us humans are the worst killers of all. It really makes you think.

We Must Save the Bees

Bees are important for more than just drugs.  If we lose bees, we lose 90% of the food on Earth. As critical pollinators, their loss would be felt through the entire food chain. The only thing left to eat will be seafood. Do you want that? Having every burp taste like you just ate an omega-3 capsule? What do I have to do to convince you? I hope the answer is “keep getting high on bee venom,” because that’s what I was going to do.

DON’T MISS:  The Beginner’s Guide to Regretting Buying That Turtle

Save The Bees So I Can Keep Using Their Venom To Get High

Please, friends: Help save the bees. They’re so important and so beautiful. And I refuse to go back to drinking hummingbird blood.

Bees’ Pleas

I welcome you to donate to the following charities, or you can Venmo me @AllisonMick to help me buy a bigger net for catching bees. I need them. We all do. But especially me.

The Honeybee Conservancy

Burt’s Bees Wild for Bees Program

Images: Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay, Pixabay

You Might Also Like

Self Care 101: Meditate To The Idea Of The Gang From ‘Entourage’

The bros got Vince through eight seasons and one movie.

Read More

How Eating Ass Improved My Gut Health

I’m about to toss that like a caesar.

Read More

Using Your Love Language To Ask To Speak To The Manager

Get that guy fired—your way.

Read More
No Comments Yet

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Stalk Us

Video of the Week

We’re Back, Baby! Take THAT, Sawa!