D-Tea-F: Herbal Teas That’ll Horny You Up

Most of us thrive on two main things: wellness and fucking. One of the best ways to keep your immune system up, your anxiety low, and your universe centered is attacking someone’s engorged nethers. However, sometimes you need something to boost your mojo before you can lock meats with another person. So here are some little-known herbal teas that’ll horny you up and keep you stiff and/or slippery at your next human carousel session.

1. Lemonass

That’s not a typo. While lemongrass is a common herbal ingredient in damn near everything white people consume, lemonass tea is a good-ass tea for your ass. One cup of lemonass can strengthen your pelvic floor to prolong orgasms while boosting your glutes for butt play. A great drink for power-bottoms wanting to graduate to mega-bottoms.

2. Snuckleberry Root

Do you like eating your lover out? Do you like mixed-berry cobbler? After a cup of infused snuckleberry root tea, cunnilingus and fellatio will suddenly go from “mouth chore” to “mouth more.” The unique snuckleberry has Willy Wonka–like properties that activate flavor peptides in human genitalia. Snuckleberry is the reason why the term “fruit roll-up” has a second meaning.

3. Gingerminge Mint

As the old saying goes, “For your vagina to constringe, sip a cup of gingerminge.” Gingerminge is a great herb that increases blood flow to tighten the vagina and engorge your vulva into an Incredible Red Hulk of pleasure that will not release anything within its clutches until ultimate satisfaction is achieved. Plus, the mint freshens your breath to encourage face-to-face intercourse.

4. Butterclam Yarrow

Throw your lube away! Butterclam yarrow naturally encourages genital lubrication in both women and men. Vaginas will lubricate to a pleasing slickness while phalluses will emit a loose buttery substance from their pores for maximum dick wetness. It’s some weird shit.

5. Turgid Plum

Really? You want a rock-hard, throbbing scrotum? Odd, but we’re not gonna yuck your yum.

Let us know if there are any herbal teas that’ll horny you up that we may have missed.

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