I’m Furious That Bunny Ears Used My Picture in an Article about Micropenises
When Bunny Ears used a stock image of my face in an article about micropenises, I thought my life was over. It was only just beginning.
We Apologize for Endorsing Sex with Men
Having mulled over all the evidence since the dawn of time, we’ve realized that sex with men was an atrocious mistake, and we must apologize.
Build Strong Relationships With Your Coworkers By Predicting Their Deaths
Hey Janice just wanted to let you know that sweater is super cute and also cancer but you’ve got like thirty years.
Natasha Lyonne and Macaulay Culkin Talk Art, Movies, and the End Times
Natasha Lyonne and Macaulay Culkin: two definitely not dead celebrities!
Western Medicine Is A Lie: What Are Penises REALLY For?!??!!!!!??!
Penii? Penes? Amanda, what am I supposed to write here?
I’d Quit My Fashion Job But I Love Dressing Rich People As Literal Dicks
For me, it started small. It was a beanie that looked like a dick.
Healthy, Natural Foods To Eat Off A Dick
By now, you’ve surely heard of Cosmopolitan’s infamous “eat a doughnut off a dick” sex tip. It’s been much mocked by the internet, as it rightly should, because who in their right mind still eats doughnuts? All that processed sugar, all those poisonous trans fats? Miss me on that train, fellow dick suckers. For those […]