Fetish of the Month: Getting Slimed!
Bunny Ears is your home for fetishes. From butt hickeys to dick farts—there’s a whole world of kinks out there for you to discover. And this week we’ll be discussing limophilia, or getting slimed. It’s existed since the first humans looked back to the primordial ooze from whence they came and mused, “I’d like to stick my dick in that.”
Not to be confused with the sploshing fetish, which is more about getting a clean woman dirty, getting slimed is all about the sleek, supple texture of—you guessed it—slime. Imagine if your see-through green glitter dildo melted, then reanimated into a human person, then fucked you with its slime body. That’s a getting-slimed fetish.
One now-grown ’90s kid we talked to put it best when he said, “I can only come if I feel like I’ve either just won a Kid’s Choice Award or just lost on Family Double Dare.” However, if you’re an ’80s kid, Slimer from Ghostbusters is probably a better cultural touchstone. If you’re a kid from the aughts, you’re probably not reading this website. The point is that you’re masturbating while thinking about slime, regardless of whether or not that slime is a cultural icon.
Once you begin to lust for slime, you start to see it everywhere.
When you have a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. When you have a slime fetish, slime is all around you. In the sap of a maple tree. In the the jelly-like fat left over from cooking a cheeseburger. In your wife’s many expensive skincare products. Touch it. Now touch yourself. Now stick two fingers in the quivering goo. Try three fingers now. Ooh, that’s it. If you’re turned on right now, you’re ready for this (literal) jelly.