What You Need To Know About Butt Hickeys
Biting your lover in the throws of passion will always be hot, but frankly, you’re getting too fucking old to walk around with the stamp of a wild night on your neck. Which is why we’re all about BUTT HICKEYS … and it’s why we’re making it our official Fetish of the Month.
But Why Butt Hickeys Specifically? There’s Lots Of Places On A Body People Can’t See
We’re glad you asked. Not only are butt hickeys more discreet than regular hickeys, but they encourage a more active lifestyle overall. Don’t believe us? Try sitting down with just one butt hickey on your rear. It hurts, doesn’t it? Butt hickeys make sitting uncomfortable, which means you’ll have no choice but to stand and move more. You may also find that you’re more inclined to experiment with new sexual positions for this same reason. Because you know what doesn’t entail sitting on your sore butt? Standing 69.
Plus, booty hickeys are as fun to give as they are to get. Who doesn’t love chomping away on a fleshy butt like a kid inhaling a state fair corndog? And the bigger the butt, the better!
Yes, We Tried It
We here at Bunny Ears put our money where our mouth is, which is why the editorial staff forced a handful of writers to try out butt hickeys amongst themselves (no, we don’t have an HR department. Why do people keep asking that?). We were admittedly apprehensive at first. As writers, we sit on our butts a lot! But after seeing the fun shades of purple a butt can turn, we couldn’t stop butt hickeying each other until it looked like we were all wearing aubergine-colored shorts. It didn’t help that we soon realized that writing can be done lying down on your stomach—while receiving more delicious butt hickeys! Needless to say, things got what some might call “out of hand.” But we’re much better now, thanks.
We know that most of our previous Fetish of the Months have been pretty out there, which is why we chose the simplicity of butt hickeys this time around. Because nothing is more satisfying than chomping on some ripe, rounded butt flesh. Trust us.