The Beginner’s Guide to Raising Your Gifted Kombucha
Welcome to The Beginner’s Guide to [Blank], our recurring series where our experts provide everything you need to know about your new endeavor, regardless of what it is. Life is full of exciting opportunities, and while it’s fine to tackle a new adventure on your own, we here at Bunny Ears know that it’s better to have an experienced guide to help on your journey.
This week we’ll be taking you through:
The Beginner’s Guide to Raising Your Gifted Kombucha
It’s two weeks in and there’s no denying it; your young kombucha is just different from other kombuchas. Its scoby (Symbiotic Culture of Bacteria and Yeast) is off the charts; it’s fermenting faster and passing those oxidation milestones at a rate that leaves the other kombuchas in the dust.
You told yourself you were jumping to conclusions when your kombucha demonstrated superior reasoning power for its age or when it seemed to get bored more easily than other kombuchas, but the test scores have come back and they are irrefutable. Your kombucha is gifted.
Most kombucha brewers are overwhelmed by conflicting emotions when they discover their kombucha is gifted. You may feel pride and enthusiasm, but you may also struggle with fears and concerns. You may feel isolated, like other kombucha brewers don’t understand what you are going through. This guide will help you realize that you are not alone and that there are simple steps you can take to care for your precious fermented angel.
As a brewer, you were prepared for your young kombucha to start developing an attitude. What you weren’t prepared for was how that attitude was expressed with a large vocabulary and complex sentence structures. Your delight was mingled with your guilt—frantically, you wondered if you’d ever discussed inappropriate subjects in front of your kombucha, foolishly assuming that it wouldn’t understand you. How much had it heard? How much did it know?
Early development of motor skills
People were skeptical when you told them your kombucha was sloshing around of its own volition. People were downright disbelieving when you told them your kombucha was using its scoby to stack Lego towers six blocks high instead of just three blocks high. “Cellulose-based biofilms don’t have fine motor control,” they scoffed. And yet there your kombucha was, finger-painting to its heart’s content while Jackie from work tried to keep her kombucha from eating the paints.
Raising a gifted kombucha isn’t all rainbows and butterflies and straight A’s on the culture report card. When your kombucha first asked you where it came from, you were taken aback. You didn’t have a lie prepared and you weren’t ready to get into the nitty-gritty of how you mixed hot tea and sugar and dropped in a piece of mother scoby.
You certainly weren’t prepared for your little kombucha to then ask what its purpose is, or why it lives in a drinking vessel. Most non-gifted kombuchas never reach sufficient self-awareness to ask that question. If this was the point at which you broke down a little, that’s understandable. Gifted kombuchas are difficult; they challenge us as brewers, with hard questions and hard situations that most people never need to worry about facing.
The important thing is that you realized you need some help, and your search for answers led you to this guide. Here are a few important tips to keep in mind for raising a healthy, happy, gifted kombucha.
Provide intellectual stimulation
All kombuchas are a little on the effervescent side (all that fermentation has to go somewhere). This goes double for gifted kombuchas; your little beverage will quickly become bored without sufficient intellectual challenges to occupy its attention. It may start acting out in public or sloshing right up to the rim of its mason jar, threatening to break its scoby’s air-tight seal. Don’t be afraid to challenge your kombucha a little! Maybe it’s ready to move on to chapter books or two-digit subtraction. Most importantly, always praise your kombucha for trying its best.
Resist the urge to flaunt your kombucha’s talents
There’s a fine line between praising your kombucha and bragging about it. Try to encourage your kombucha in private, rather than when other brewers are over. You don’t want to stir up resentment or envy, and you don’t want your kombucha to become a show-off at an early age. Gifted kombuchas commonly have difficulty fitting in with their peers, and teaching your kombucha to act superior to its friends (even if it is superior) will make social interaction even harder.
Remember that your kombucha is still young
Sometimes your gifted kombucha might seem so mature for its age that you forget it’s not a grown-up. It’s important to keep in mind that no matter how advanced your kombucha’s vocabulary is, it’s still very young. It doesn’t have the experience or social grace of an adult. Don’t overtax your kombucha or punish it for making mistakes. It still needs nurture and support, just like an ordinary kombucha would.
Find a support group
Most other kombucha brewers simply won’t understand what you’re going through. If you try sharing exciting milestones with Julia from down the street, it’s just going to be awkward for both of you. Her kombucha can’t even read yet.
Fortunately, there are plenty of resources online. You can connect to other kombucha brewers who are dealing with many of the same things you’re doing. Whatever you do, don’t isolate yourself! Remember, being a good parent to your gifted kombucha means taking care of your needs as well.
Images: pixabay, PxHere
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