Magenta: The Manliest Of Colors
This month’s Bunny Ears’ Color of the Month is magenta, AKA, the manliest of colors.
We know what you’re probably thinking.
Isn’t that one of those fru-fru colors for fancy boys and jockeys, like salmon, or teal? Isn’t it the color of princess parties, and girls like Zoe Kravitz? And aren’t the only people who even use the word magenta dandies and the elderly?
Well, we’ve got news for you: Magenta is a color for men. Manly men.
Don’t believe us? Consider this: Magenta was originally known as the color “fuchsine,” but it was renamed in 1859 to celebrate the French victory at the Battle of Magenta. Victory? Battle? That’s manly as fuck.
Not to mention that an identical color was recreated in a lab by two British chemists in 1860. Created in a lab? Like Frankenstein, or Skynet? Holy shit, that’s manly!
Oh, and hold on to your hats, because according to the gods of Wikipedia, magenta is “exactly between red and blue on the color chart.” Red and blue? You mean America’s colors? That’s exactly what we fucking mean.
And you know who wears magenta on the regs? Every fucking Gryffindor who’s ever lived, that’s who! Last time we checked (earlier this morning), Gryffindor is the mythical British house of courage, chivalry, and determination. AKA basically the very foundations of manliness.
Yep. Magenta’s a man’s hue, through and through.
And since you’re undoubtedly now convinced of this basic truth, you’re probably wondering how you can incorporate more magenta into your daily routine. We get it, and we’ve got you covered.
Read on for our list of the top magenta-related accent pieces to help make you your most manliest of selves.*
A Magenta Sparkle Jacket:
“Holy shit? Did the manliest man we’ve ever seen just walk into this party?” That’s exactly what people will be saying when you show up in this jacket.
This Magenta Beret:
Want a dose of magenta, and a tasteful headpiece? Look no further.
A Magenta Dodge Caravan Circa 2003:
Nothing says “I’m a real man” like driving a reasonably-priced and gently-used family vehicle. Because a real man makes sacrifices for his family, god damn it.
A Straight Up Can of Magenta Paint:
This simple can of magenta paint is both versatile and cost-effective. Repaint your man cave, finish that patriotic mural, or just apply it directly to your skin. Also can be used in place of drinking water in a pinch.
What’s that? Lipstick’s for ladies? But this is magenta lipstick. See what we mean?
Now go forth and enjoy the power of your newfound magenta-fueled manliness. Don’t be alarmed if you suddenly feel like you’re crushing the shit out of life, and always remember: Burgandy’s for pussies.
*Doesn’t just work for men!