Color Of The Month: Asphyxiation
Kink shaming is a thing of the past; now, it’s all about body positivity and living your best life. You do you, figuratively or literally. It doesn’t really matter. Life is short, and we are all going to die.
Our color of the month, asphyxiation, is a trendy way to showcase your hidden desires to those in the know. Just as there are many different levels of choking a bitch out, there is a spectrum to this lovely color. Keep to shades of purple and blue in order to most accurately display your erotic fetish.
This Scarf Sends A Subtle Message
This bluish-purple scarf draped gently around your neck is the perfect way to send a subtle hint that you’re super into erotic asphyxiation. If the mottled color doesn’t get the point across, the draped placement of the scarf around your tender, fragile neck certainly will. They say to wear perfume where you want to be kissed. This is also true of hand placement.
Neckties Easily Transition From Day To Night
If you have an office job, you likely wear a tie at least four days a week. These smooth, silky neckties will keep you looking sleek and professional by day but easily transition to slinky bondage-wear by night. The stylish ties pictured above helpfully demonstrate the various stages of asphyxiation, from the light flush of the head buzz to the deeply variegated skin tone of “Whoa, is this going too far?”
Yes, I Am Aware This Is A Blue Ball
Marbles aren’t exactly sexy, but the result is the same. Be careful not to put these in your mouth. You will die.
This Necklace Is Cold As Ice And Willing To Sacrifice Our Love
I love the layers of this breathtaking piece. Its classic shape is a bold statement that lets naysayers and prudes know that the heart wants what it wants, and sometimes, what the heart wants is to get down and dirty. The icy color is a nice metaphor for the icy hands of death wrapped around your throat as the lack of blood flow and oxygen slowly render you permanently unconscious, a necessary reminder that safe words are super important and not at all embarrassing.
It Was An Accident, I Swear
My husband and I were looking to spice things up a little bit, and I thought it would be a fun idea to bring the color of the month out of the bedroom, too. He’s super allergic to mold of all kinds, so I thought the bold, tangy flavor of blue cheese combined with the feeling of his throat slowly closing tighter and tighter would be a nice precursor to the kinky surprises that were in store for the rest of the night. I had fully intended to use the EpiPen in the cupboard over the kitchen sink, but as he lay there, blue and purple and writhing, it was as if I couldn’t help but feel a stirring deep inside of me I had never felt before.
I suppose, in the end, the night went as it was planned. I learned some things about my sexuality I hadn’t been aware of previously, and we’re honestly closer than ever for it. Literally. He never leaves my side in his beautiful urn—a trendy purple-blue.
Katie Goldin’s Golden Rules
Weekly comics from the mind of Bunny Ears writer Katie Goldin. They're weird, they're funny, and they're always so pretty! The Goldin Rules…