Color of the Month: Indigo

This month’s Bunny Ears’ Color of the Month is indigo, but full disclosure, I’m technically color blind.

You asked, and we delivered! That’s right. April’s Color of the Month is officially indigo. Although again, I’m severely color blind, and according to my doctors, don’t register anything in the blue/purple/green(ish) color families.

But I’m really gonna try here, guys!

So let’s delve on in to a color that, to me, looks like what many of you would call anything from blue, to navy blue, to teal, to violet, to green, to anything even remotely related to yellow. Seriously, it’s a chromosomal disorder, and I don’t even fully know what I’m missing out on. Which is almost the saddest part.

According to Wikipedia, indigo is “a deep and rich color close to blue on the color wheel, as well as to some variants of ultramarine.” Cool! That’s so fucking great for indigo!

I’m sorry. Did that come off a little passive aggressive? That totally wasn’t my intent. I’m trying really hard to give this my all. I’m just honestly not sure why Mack assigned me, the only colorblind person on staff, to cover Color of the Month. It seems cruel, no?

But enough about me! Let’s get back to indigo! Apparently (also according to Wikipedia), indigo is one of the seven colors of the rainbow. How dope is that?! Not that I’d know. I’ve never seen a rainbow, and I never will.

Oh boy, here comes the self-pity train again! Sorry, everyone. I know you’re not here to hear about me and my shit. Save it for my therapist, amiright?! You wanna hear about indigo! And that’s fair!

But also, Mack knows I’m color blind, you know? Like we’ve spoken about it multiple times. Truly, multiple! So don’t you think it’s a tad out of line to email me, a person who has literally zero conception of many of the simple beauties the majority of humankind takes for granted, to tell me I’m getting this assignment — on March 30th no less? Like what in the actual fuck?

Whoaaa. We’re getting pretty off track here, guys. And I take full responsibility for that. So let’s just get right back to talkin’ about good ol’ indi-

But one last thing about this WILDLY insensitive assignment: If you were me, you’d be pretty friggin’ steamed right about now, wouldn’t you? Like I’m not being crazy here, right? This was obviously a clear and direct personal fuck you from the PageMaster himself, for reasons still unbeknownst to yours truly.

What? Do I work too hard? Am I too committed to my job? Is he just a petite sociopath? Please, Mack, enlighten me! And then if you have something to say, just fuckin’ come at me, bro! You heard me! I know you’re reading this you doe-eyed piece of shit.

Where were we? Something about indigo? Fuck it. I quit.

Images: PotteryBarn.com / Needsupply.com / Wikimedia