The Best Jokes To Help Deflect Judgement When You’re An Adult Buying Lunchables

November 21, 2019 by , featured in Food and Recipes
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Buying Lunchables as an adult isn’t always easy. It can feel more embarrassing than the first time you bought condoms at a 7-Eleven. That’s why we’ve come up with the best jokes to use in order to avoid judgement from store clerks, acquaintances, and even just random strangers when you buy Lunchables—and they work well into your 30s … and beyond!

1. “How’d This Get in Here?”

Pulling the old, “Wait … how did this get in here?” is a classic go-to. The only downside is that the store clerk may take your words at face value and you will then have to explain to him/her/anyone within earshot that you do, in fact, intend to purchase the Lunchables.

2. The Ol’ Finger Guns 

Nothing says, “I did improv in college and therefore don’t take myself seriously enough to be unironically purchasing Lunchables,” like a fresh pair of finger guns. 

3. Utilize Self-Deprecation 

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Oversharing is often the easiest way to shut down judgment, because it shows you too are aware this is an inappropriate purchase. Nothing makes a person shut up faster than giving them the old, “Haha yeah, sometimes Lunchables are the only thing that can cure the existential dread burning deep inside of me. Did you know that over a million people died in the Vietnam war?” It’s both charming and true.

4. Playful Passive-Aggression 

If Shirley, the clerk who’s been working at your local grocery store since 1972 is not-so-silently judging you again, give her a taste of her own medicine by saying something like, “Well, maybe if Baby Boomers didn’t destroy the economy I’d be able to afford something better. Also, your husband is cheating on you with your sister and everyone in town knows it.” Classic! 

5. Blame It on Student Debt

Even if you graduated over ten years ago and have visible frown lines, nobody is going to argue with this one. You might even get a sympathetic nod or two. And if that fails, just invent an entire fake family and pretend the Lunchables are for Steven, your “youngest son.”

Image: Unsplash/ Instacart


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