Mack Shares His Favorite Dad Jokes (They’re Really Bad, Guys)

Macaulay Culkin recently sat down with the king of roasts—aka Mr. Jeff Ross—on the Bunny Ears podcast (available here) to talk comedy, roasting, and the creative process, among a ton of other things. And while Jeff may be The RoastMaster General, those who know Mack know he’s the Father of All Dad Jokes. Seriously, it’s a problem—he literally can’t stop. So we figured it was time to share this comedy gold (torture?) with the world, and present Macaulay Culkin’s favorite dad jokes (and yes, these are Mack originals). We’re sorry in advance.

9. “What did one leg say to the other? Nothing. A leg can’t talk!”

8. “My divorce would have been a lot easier if my wife wasn’t involved.”

7. “It’s true I’m a single man. There is, indeed, only one of me.”

6. “Life is a series of choices. And you certainly made them.”

5. “What did the veterinarian say to the gullible young man?” Answer: “Your cat said give me a thousand dollars.”

4. “Sneakers are overrated. I tried them once and found I was just as good at sneaking up on people without ’em.”

3. “We had sex for an hour and five minutes. I was proud of myself until I realized it was daylights savings. So I wrote this joke down and called it a victory.”

2. “I’ve been accused of having a drug problem, but nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, drugs are the easiest things I’ve ever done.”

1. “I have a bunch of terrible dad jokes. And by that I mean my dad was terrible and a joke.”

Which one of Macaulay Culkin’s favorite dad jokes was your favorite? Let us know in the comments below, or tweet us at @Bunnyearsweb (and don’t forget to follow us on Instagram here, Facebook here, and YouTube here for all Mack-related content and updates!).