bunnyears

…Unusually Buff Dog Not Breaking Eye Contact…
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…Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
…Breaking: Absolutely no one wang chunging tonight…
…Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
…Did Tupac fake his birth?…
…Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
…Violent Pokémon dispute sparks trade war…
…Big dick energy drink selling poorly…
…Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…
…Scientists find that deja vu is just alternate timeline of you dying…
…6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
…Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
…Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
…Millennials Are Disrupting The Banjo Industry…
…Study: Loss Of Car Leads To 1000% Catcalling Increase…
…Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
…’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
…Report reveals Rice-A-Roni actually from Detroit…
…Very smart toilet begs for death…
…Reported discovery of new planet turns out to be your mom…
…13th month discovered between February and March….
…Single 32 Year Old Patiently Waits For Friends To Get Divorced…
…Research shows laughter definitely not the best medicine…
…Local Couple Adopts Blind Dogs And Just Puts Them Down…
…Local white guy “gets it”…
…Woman With Scoliosis Has Detailed Knowledge Of Floor-…
…Man discovers woman already knows thing he was going to tell her….
…Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
…Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
…Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
…Chill Girlfriend Constantly Suppressing Everything…
…Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
…Adult Hearing Mom Use Their Full Name Still Terrified…
…Drugs In Water Supply Treat Fish’s Depression…
…Sugar daddy eaten by ants…
…Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
…Spoiler alert: The milk has gone bad…
…Man pretty sure Game Of Thrones is historically accurate…
…Against All Odds, Man Learns To Dance…
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…Am I standing right behind you? The answer might surprise you!…
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…Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
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…Hospital Cracks Down On Patients Getting Chemo For Fun…
…According to studies studying causes cancer…
… Michael Jordan Comes Out Of Retirement To Dunk On Angela Merkel…
…Update: Only very tiny hats now cool…
…Survey finds startling amount of ghosts are racist….
…Breaking – There’s A Spider In Your Pocket…

9 Unique Baby Names That Will Satisfy Your Bottomless Need For Attention

unique baby names

Choosing the perfect baby name is no easy task. Not only will the name you choose shape the impression others form of your child for the rest of their life, but the right name can bring you — the parent — endless amounts of much-needed attention. However, the wrong name, like, say, John or Madison, could literally mean no attention at all.

And what could be worse than that?

That’s why we’ve compiled a list of unique baby names that are guaranteed to satisfy even the most disgusting of fame monsters. Read on to find the right one for you!

Duvet Cover

Much like Apple, Chicago, or Blue Ivy, Duvet Cover takes an everyday word and turns it into a unique and elegant moniker. But more importantly, it’ll cause anyone who hears it to stop and ask you questions about why you chose it, as well as if the name has any special significance to (you guessed it) you. And doesn’t it feel good to answer questions about yourself? We think so, too.

Revoc Tevud

Yes, it is just Duvet Cover spelled backwards. Good eye!

Hannibal Lectern

What better way to get people’s attention than to name your child after an infamous fictional serial killer who eats faces, but when you tweak it ever so slightly to further confuse them? It’s a slam dunk in the attention department.

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Farmer Gigolo

This one guarantees a healthy dose of hype. Not only will your friends and colleagues talk a ton about how totally inappropriate it is that you named your child after a term for a male sex worker, but they’ll also wonder about the whole “Farmer” part, too. Is it a name, or an actual job title? Are the sex workers only servicing farmers or are the sex workers also farmers? Way to keep ’em guessing!

Andy Serkis

We know what you’re probably thinking: Isn’t Andy Serkis the critically-acclaimed actor who portrayed the likes of Gollum, Caesar, and Supreme Leader Snoke in a wealth of international blockbusters? We honestly don’t know, because we’re not nerds. But do you want attention or not?

Hopies

Not only is it utterly fresh, but you can claim it came to you during a vision quest on Day Two of Coachella.

Truck Driver Detektive

Actor Jason Lee already paved the way for this one when he named his son “Pilot Inspektor,” so Truck Driver Detektive is all about pushing the trend one step further and basking in the inevitable glow of public scrutiny.

Kevin

Just kidding. That would be terrible.

Don’t Name Your Child At All

It’s bold. It’s confusing. And it’s Attention City.

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So there you have it! A few unique baby names that will satisfy even the most shallow and attention-hungry of a-holes. You’re welcome!

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